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St.
Patrick's Day
INT.
Classroom. Day.
There is an empty classroom with a table center with three
chairs. A board or bulletin board says Happy St. Patrick's Day. Irish girl
walks in and sits at the first chair. She has a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt
on and maybe a cute little green hat. She settles in with her book,
notebook and pencil and looks around for cute guys when she is ready for
class. Scottish girl walks in and has a sour look on her face. She
sees Irish girl and gets an annoyed look. She sits two chairs down from
her. She has on a shirt that says "Don't Kiss Me, I'm Scottish."
After a few moments:
SCOTTISH
I hate St. Patrick's Day.
Irish girl looks at Scottish girl surprised.
IRISH
How come?
SCOTTISH
All the stupid shirts, wearing green, the green beer... so
disgusting. It makes a mockery of the true meaning of the holiday.
Irish girl gets a very confused look on her face.
IRISH
What is the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day?
SCOTTISH
See!
Irish girl looks around even more confused. Cute guy
walks in and sits between them. Irish girl is all happy and gives him a
big smile and tries to make sure he can see her shirt. Scottish girl
crosses her arms.
GUY
Hey ladies. How you are you this fine St. Patrick's Day?
Irish girl giggles and Scottish girl rolls her eyes.
IRISH
I'm Irish.
She giggles more and he leans in.
GUY
Does that mean I should kiss you?
She giggles even more. Guy turns to Scottish
girl.
GUY (CONT.)
What's your shirt say?
Scottish girl puts down her arms.
GUY (Cont.)
Don't kiss me I'm Scottish. That's funny.
Guy takes off his glasses, turns up the smolder.
Scottish girl gets nervous.
GUY (CONT.)
So you don't want me to kiss you huh?
Scottish is nervous and unconvincing.
SCOTTISH
No.
He leans in more, but then Italian rushes in.
ITALIAN
What are you doing?
Guy sits up.
GUY
What? Huh? Nothing.
ITALIAN
I saw the way you were looking at her.
GUY
No, I just needed a pencil.
ITALIAN
Get over here...
She points off left.
ITALIAN (CONT.)
Now!
Guy jumps up and rushes off with her following. Irish
and Scottish watch off left.
GUY (OFF)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Irish and Scottish look at each other.
IRISH AND SCOTTISH
Italian.
IRISH
She's definitely Italian.
THE END
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Sincerely,
D. M. Larson