GENERAL: [m] An old general that experienced the glory of battle a long, long time ago.

KANDID: (Clint Kandid) [m] Photographer from National Geographic who likes the ladies and loves his camera.

VAL: [f] Younger brother of Al and business manager for the farm who knows more about coffee than finances.

CLEM (Clementine): [f] Strange cousin of Venesa who works at the farm and loves to make up songs.

LOU: [f] Worker at the farm who brings in news from the outside world.

TAXER: [m] The man in black. Delivers tax notices and becomes the government representative in the conflict with the farm.

MEXICAN REP [m] Brings an odd relief package for the farm.

DOCTOR: [f] Medicine woman who ends up helping the wounded.

THE SOLDIERS:

LIEUTENANT [m]: Unsure leader of the troops

CAPTAIN [m]: By the book, overseer of the operation

FRANK: [m] Loves a good joke

MOE: [m] Thinks he's too cool to be a soldier

JOE: [m] Along for the ride

More non-speaking soldiers can be included

Time and Place

A small, isolated chile farm in 1899, the New Mexico territory.

[NOTE: This play can be done as a comedy or in the style of a melodrama. The TAXER is dressed in black and is a clear villain that the audience can boo at. VENESA is a damsel and the audience can say �ahhh� when she enters, the rest of the family can be cheered for at certain times, etc.]

(Lights come up on a simple farm that makes chiles. This chile farm is in a small corner of Northern New Mexico and is somewhat isolated between the mountains and mesas that surround it. The owners and workers enjoy this isolation

and the only contact they care to have is when they sell their chiles. Lights come up when there is some loud knocking at the main entrance R. AL enters

sleepily from upstairs doorway UC)

I'm coming. I'm coming. Quit your knocking. I hear you.

TAXER

(Calling)

I've been knocking forever.

(Opens door)

Not possible. Forever is a very long time.

(Pulls TAXER in. The TAXER is dressed all in black looking rather evil)

Come in. Come sit down. Bit early for customers, but no matter.

(TAXER goes for chiles on counter)

TAXER

Well, you see, I'm not...

Here are our best chiles. Enjoy.

TAXER

(Looks at chiles)

I will. Thank you.

So how did you hear about our chile farm?

TAXER

Well, I...

No, let me guess.

(TAXER relaxes)

You heard our song?

(TAXER nods while enjoying a hot chile)

Wonderful. Cousin Clem was right. A snappy tune would bring the customers in. Let's see, how does it go?

(To tune of "Beverly Hillbillies")

"Well, come to our farm to get yourself fed;

Our wonderful chiles come in green, yellow, and red.

So get on your horse and ride here dude.

There�s nothing here that�s close to rude." Or something like that. Isn't that clever?

TAXER

Oh, yes. Quite.

I'm so glad we brought him back with us from back East. See, that's where I'm from, if you couldn't tell.

TAXER

You don�t sound like you�re from around here.

Neither do you.

TAXER

I�m from Washington.

The capital?

TAXER

(Enjoying chiles. Willing to let AL ramble)

Yes.

I worked there also for a time. Small world, isn�t it? That's where I met my wife. She's from Washington like you. At first we lived in the East but the chile business wasn't so hot there... Get it? Not so hot.

(TAXER doesn�t react)

And business has been good, not wonderful, but good. I worry about my daughter though. I think she really misses the East. I think she'd really like to go back again.

(TAXER is eating still)

I'm sorry I must be boring you. So how do you like our chiles?

TAXER

Incredible. Never had any like them.

(Goes for order pad)

How many can I wrap up for you?

TAXER

(Nervous)

Well, I... didn't come to buy chiles.

You didn�t?

TAXER

I'm here with a notice from the government.

(Holds out a paper)

You mean you sat there the whole time and didn't tell me why you were here?

TAXER

You didn't ask. And those chiles were quite good....

You thief! Get out! Now!

TAXER

The government says I can't go until I deliver this letter.

Sorry. I don't want it.

TAXER

What do you mean you don't want it?

If it's from the government, I don't want it. It can't be anything worth hearing. They never buy my chiles. They have never had any use for my farm except when they want to tax it. And I have paid my taxes, so good-bye.

(Proceeds to push him out)

TAXES

(Struggles)

You haven't!

(Stops)

Haven't what?

TAXES

(Gives paper)

Paid your taxes.

(Turns to go)

Good-bye.

(Reads paper)

What?!! This can't be!

(Grabs TAXER)

Don't you move from this spot 'til I find out what's going on.

TAXER

It seems pretty clear to me. You paid the old tax. There's a new one. Pay the difference. Good day.

(Picks up a large chile shaped like a gun)

Freeze, Tax Person. Don't make another move. I'm serious here.

TAXER

(Hardly upset)

Look. I had a job to do. I did it. I didn't make the tax, you know.

ELECTRA

(Comes out sleepily)

What is it, dear?

(Upset)

But this can't be. This could be the end for us.

ELECTRA

(Mildly worried)

Did we run out of yellow chiles again? Don't worry, we can get some more. Remember our motto: when your chile is yellow, then my fellow is mellow.

(TAXER helps himself to more chiles)

That's not our motto.

ELECTRA

Well, I think it should be.

The last thing we need is a new motto. The government would probably tax that too.

ELECTRA

What are you talking about? We paid our taxes.

We paid what the taxes used to be. The government went and raised them 200% for businesses in this territory. We're ruined.

ELECTRA

Let me see that.

(Looks at letter)

They can't do this now.

(To TAXER)

We had no warning.

TAXER

Don't look at me. I'm the final notice.

ELECTRA

They can't just spring it on us like this.

(Pause)

Unless we did have warning.

Huh?

ELECTRA

(Screams)

Val! Val, come out here NOW!

VAL

(Comes out, tired)

You screamed?

ELECTRA

Do you know anything about this?

VAL

(Goes to her)

About what?

ELECTRA

The new taxes.

VAL

(Looks at paper)

I've been meaning to tell you about that.

ELECTRA

So, you do know!

VAL

I didn't want to alarm you, that's all.

ELECTRA

Too late. I'm pretty alarmed.

VAL

I think I need some coffee.

ELECTRA

Don't change the subject.

VAL

(Almost whiney)

Coffee first please.

Sophie! Coffee, please.

TAXER

How many people sleep up there anyway?

ELECTRA

We're a small farm. We all share a room. We have to cut corners to survive.

We were able to get on before this. But what now?

VAL

You hired me to be your business manager and I will find a way for us to manage.

Then we can pay our taxes?

VAL

Uh, not exactly.

ELECTRA

I knew we should never have hired your sister.

My sister is a very capable and driven professional. Once she sets her mind on something, she doesn't give up until it gets done.

VAL

Where is that coffee?

Sophie!

SOPHIE

(Comes out of bedroom)

I heard you! Coffee doesn't appear out of thin air. You have to make it first.

(Heads for kitchen door L)

TAXER

Could I perhaps get a cup too while I'm waiting?

(SOPHIE ignores him. TAXER shrugs and eats more chiles)

ELECTRA

(Grabs VAL)

Coffee or no coffee. You are going to tell us what's going on.

VAL

I didn't want to worry you until I came up with an idea. There has to be a way to get around it. I'm not a worthy business manager if I can't find a way around taxes.

So you have a plan?

VAL

Uh... yes...

(Blanks out)

It will come to me.

ELECTRA

(To TAXER)

There must be something we could do?

TAXER

Perhaps you could pay them in chiles.

We'd never make enough chiles to pay this.

TAXER

Too bad.

ELECTRA

(Grabs a chile from him)

Quit eating our capital!

(VENESA comes from room)

Let him eat. We'll have to get rid of it all anyway. Our farming days are over.

VENESA

What's going on?

This messenger brings tragic news, my daughter.

ELECTRA

(Arm around VENESA. CLEM appears from above)

The government has raised our taxes 200%.

CLEM

That doesn't sound good. Maybe I should go back to bed.

(Lingers and listens)

There's no way we can pay. And I wanted all this to be yours one day. Now I won't be able to give you anything.

TAXER

This is starting to get depressing.

See what problems you bring. You think you are only doing "a job." But actually you are serving death notices. Death to business. Death by taxes.

VAL

That would have been a more moving speech...

(Finishes with volume)

...WITH SOME COFFEE.

SOPHIE

(Comes out with a few cups)

Here's your stinking coffee. Fresh from the pot. Hope you choke on it.

TAXER

(Takes a cup)

Charming service.

(SOPHIE takes the cup just before he can drink it)

SOPHIE

That's not for you.

VAL

(Sleepily takes cup and sips. Eyes get big. Sings)

Goooooooood MORNING!

(Drinks the rest down)

Oh, yes!

ELECTRA

Any ideas now?

VAL

(Drinks another cup)

Of course.

(Drinks rest)

There's no way we can pay these taxes and still stay in business so I came up with a plan. There is one way to keep from paying taxes.

There is?

VENESA

I knew Val would come through.

TAXER

I've got to hear this.

(Threatens with chile gun)

Quiet!

CLEM

(Runs down)

Don't shoot!

TAXER

Thank you.

CLEM

I just don't want any messes around here. I'm the one who has to clean it up.

ELECTRA

So what can we do, Val?

VAL

We simply form our own country.

ELECTRA

What?

That would work?

TAXER

You can't do that.

SOPHIE

No one asked you.

VENESA

I've always wanted to live in a foreign country.

ELECTRA

Could we do that?

VAL

If everyone who lived in the new country agreed.

All in favor?

ALL

(Except TAXER)

Aye!

VAL

We're a new country.

(Everyone dances and cheers. They sing and dance to strange little tune at the direction of CLEM. Something like 99 bottles of beer on the wall but with no words. Ya-da-da-da-da-daaa, ya-da-da-da-da. Ya-da-da-da-da-daaa, ya-da-da-da-da. Hey!)

TAXER

(Yelling over noise)

Wait a minute.

(Louder)

Wait a minute!

(They stop)

You can't do this.

VAL

(They stop by degrees)

And why not? Countries are doing it all the time. How do you think the United States started?

VENESA

And the government has committed a great injustice. We have every right to break away.

TAXER

You're all crazy.

VENESA

That's what they said about the United States. They're doing pretty well now.

TAXER

Trust me. You're no United States.

VAL

(Excited)

This is great. We'll have to alert the newspapers. I�ll bet it will be all over the papers in the East. Our sales will go sky high. We'll make a fortune.

VENESA

Then we can pay our taxes.

SOPHIE

Why would we want to do that?

VENESA

As a sign of good will. No one could deny us our independence then.

I never knew I had such a wise daughter.

VENESA

I've never had a chance to use it. There's only so much wisdom one can use when making chiles.

Now we need a name for our new country.

CLEM

Let's name it after something we bake at our farm.

SOPHIE

Chileville?

ELECTRA

Salsatown?

VENESA

I know. New Mexico.

New Mexico. That's perfect. We�ll use the name of the territory. Then maybe the whole territory will join us. No one thinks we�re part of the United States anyway. New Mexico it is!

ALL

(Except you know who)

Hurray!

This calls for a celebration.

SOPHIE

Must everything call for a celebration?

Come now, Sophie. Do you think any new country was born without a celebration? Fire up the kettle. It's party time!

TAXER

Can I go now?

VENESA

I don't see why not.

TAXER

Thank you.

VAL

I don't know. Once our friend here gets back, everyone will know what's going on.

TAXER

But if I don't go back, they'll also wonder.

He has a point.

VENESA

This a peaceful breakaway. I�ve been reading books about Henry David Thoreau and I think his ideas could really work. No violence. No fighting. Just civil disobedience.

VAL

This will be a short revolution then.

ELECTRA

Venesa is right. If we fight, we're done for. Revolutions are bloody. Peace is the way to fight now.

VENESA

It�s almost the twentieth century. In the new century, there won�t be wars anymore. It will be a more civilized time. We�ll learn to peacefully solve problems. You can go, sir.

(TAXER starts to go)

VAL

(Stops him)

Don�t let him go.

ELECTRA

(TAXER starts to go again)

Go.

VAL

(Stops him again)

No!

ELECTRA

Yes!

TAXER

Good-bye!

(He runs out)

VAL

(To AL)

After him!

Stop!

(Runs out after TAXER)

VENESA

Father, don't!

ELECTRA

They�re going to turn this into a war!

(Returns)

I lost him, but I did get him good with my chile gun. He'll be tasting chile juice for months.

CLEM

(Looks out door)

At least you didn't do it in here. What a mess.

ELECTRA

The revolution has begun. The question is, are we ready?

As ready as a roasted chile.

VAL

I think I need another cup of coffee.

VENESA

May we find justice in this new nation.

Hey, that would make a great motto.

CLEM

I'll write that down.

ELECTRA

Now all we need is a flag.

CLEM

And a song.

VAL

And a great general.

(Front door flies open and TAXER is thrown in. Everyone

is startled and backs away. A military looking man in cavalry

garb walks in and stands over thhe TAXER)

Ask and ye shall receive.

(Lights fade to black)

ACT I

Scene 2

(Lights come up on TAXER tied up. ELECTRA and VENESA stand by the TAXER worried. CLEM enters excited)

CLEM

Here's my first draft of our national anthem. Want to hear?

(Doesn't wait for an answer)

Okay, here it is.

(To the tune of "Little Town of Bethlehem")

"Oh, little country of New Mexico. How great are your chiles. We love your hot peppers and everything little thing. We just can't get enough of your great green chiles. It's darn great in New Mexico. We just love how you taste, oh my."

(Looks at them happily)

So what do you think?

ELECTRA

Shouldn�t it be more about something like freedom or justice, rather than chiles. It sounds like that�s all we care about.

CLEM

But it is, isn�t it?

VENESA

Try again, please Clem.

CLEM

Okay.

(Exits)

ELECTRA

What are we going to do with the tax man? Al wants to keep him tied up "just in case."

VENESA

Keeping him will only make things worse for us.

ELECTRA

We know that.

(Points to TAXER)

He knows that.

(TAXER nods)

It's just that they don't know it.

VENESA

I say we let him go.

(TAXER nods)

ELECTRA

Maybe if he'll promise to put in a good word for us...

(TAXER nods even more)

VENESA

How can we be sure he will? We have no control over him once he leaves.

ELECTRA

It might be a chance we have to take.

(She unties him and he runs out)

TAXER

I'm free! I'm free!

GENERAL

(Appears at kitchen door)

He�s escaped!

(Goes after him)

(Runs in with VAL)

What's going on?

(Sees chair)

He got away?!

ELECTRA

We let him go.

VAL

You what?!

VENESA

Keeping him would do more harm than good.

VAL

But he was our insurance.

ELECTRA

Well, you may get him back. The general just went after him.

VAL

Who is this general guy? An actor or an escaped lunatic?

ELECTRA

There's not much difference really.

GENERAL

(Returns)

He has escaped. This is no way to run a war.

VENESA

We don�t want a war, General.

GENERAL

If you want your own country, you�re going to have to fight for it.

ELECTRA

No, fighting. That�s final.

VAL

Try telling that to the government.

Look. Let�s be prepared for all possibilities. Eclestra and Venesa will map out a peace plan. And the General can help me with a battle plan.

ELECTRA

How do we know this guy is even a general.

GENERAL

I�ll have you know that I am the veteran of many great wars. The Civil War, The Spanish-American War, The Pigs and Potato War.

ELECTRA

Pigs and Potato War?

GENERAL

Up in the great Pacific Northwest, we had ourselves quite a standoff with the British. All because some British pig ate some of our taters.

Pigs and potatoes. Chiles and taxes. They�re similar.

ELECTRA

I don�t know about this.

He can coordinate a plan of defense in case the government gets nasty.

GENERAL

I�ll set up headquarters in the basement.

ELECTRA

The basement is full of supplies.

And I'm sure Sophie and Clem will straighten it up for the general.

(CLEM nods)

SOPHIE

Over my dead body.

(Exits)

(Laughs)

Oh, Sophie. Always the kidder.

(Looks at watch)

Goodness, look at the time. We better start roasting chiles.

VAL

Who has time to work? We have a country to get started.

Chile first. Country second.

VENESA

(Joking)

Maybe that should be our motto.

VAL

Good for sales. Bad for national pride.

We're going to have national nothing if we don't get to work. The workers will be here in less than an hour.

ELECTRA

Workers? Oh, you mean Lou. Don't worry, she's always late.

CLEM

Hey, you know what we need to get us in the spirit for another workday. We need to sing a few rounds of our national song.

VENESA

You've done another one already?

CLEM

(Proud)

I'm very creative.

Let's hear it.

CLEM

Venesa wanted something more modern. Here it is.

(to tune of �Dixieland�)

"Oh, I wish I was in the land of chiles� our chiles won�t be forgotten� look away, look away, look away to New Mexico."

VAL

Is that it?

CLEM

I can sing more of it if you like.

(Starts again)

"Oh, I wish I was in the land of chiles..."

VAL

No, no. That's okay. We got the picture.

CLEM

You don't like it, do you?

VENESA

It was a good try, Clem.

ELECTRA

Try again, please.

But don't forget to mention our chiles.

CLEM

This is going to be harder than I thought.

(Exits)

LOU

(Enters from front door)

Hello!

(Annoyed)

You're early. We're not ready to start roasting yet.

LOU

Have you heard the rumors?

VENESA

What did you hear?

LOU

You wouldn't believe what's going on. What a joke!

VAL

Joke?

LOU

Some guy from the government was down at my papa�s saloon. He said some farm has declared independence and is forming a new country. Isn't that funny?

VAL

Well�

LOU

And he said they attacked with a chile gun! Ha! Who�d be stupid enough to squirt someone with a big chile. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard?

(Everyone is looking sheepish)

Wait a minute. All that was true? Someone wasn't making this up?

VAL

Who would make up something that stupid?

VENESA

In fact, it�s not just any farm. It�s this one.

LOU

You can�t be serious.

Come to the kitchen and Venesa and I will explain everything while we get the chiles started.

LOU

This is too weird.

(They exit with VENESA)

VAL

Now if we could only know what the government is going to do next.

(Knock at door)

ELECTRA

(Points to door)

That may be our answer.

GENERAL

I better start preparing our defenses.

(Exits to basement. More knocking)

SOPHIE

(Comes out)

Is somebody going to answer the door or not?

VAL

(Having second thoughts)

I don't know. Should we?

ELECTRA

Answer the door, Sophie.

SOPHIE

You're closer.

ELECTRA

Do it or become New Mexico's first exile.

SOPHIE

(Goes to door)

I get no respect around here.

(Knocking. Yells)

I'm coming!

(Opens door. TAXER is back)

Oh, it's you.

VAL

What are you doing here?

ELECTRA

Let me guess. You loved our chiles so much you couldn't stay away.

TAXER

Something like that.

(Eyes some chiles)

VAL

So why are you here?

TAXER

(Speaks very officially)

I'm here as an official representative of our government.

VAL

You mean your government. We don't belong any more.

TAXER

(Goes closer to a plate of chiles. Speaks less officially)

And I really like your chiles. Could I have another one?

(He reaches and SOPHIE slaps his hand away)

ELECTRA

So what does the government plan to do?

TAXER

Well, the government was going to simply close you down. But now Mexico has found out about this and things have become a bit more complicated.

ELECTRA

Why? What does Mexico have to do with this?

TAXER

They want to have some official meeting between our two governments. Haven't they contacted you yet?

ELECTRA

No. How could they? There hasn�t been time. We just became a country this morning.

SOPHIE

Someone came to the back door. Maybe it�s them.

(He and VENESA come out excited)

I received a very interesting message on the telegraph.

VENESA

You'll never guess who it is from.

ELECTRA

Mexico.

How did you know?

VAL

(Points to TAXER)

Our friend here told us.

(Sees TAXER. Goes for chile gun)

It's you!

TAXER

(Hides behind ELECTRA)

Hey, now wait a minute. I'm here on a peaceful mission.

ELECTRA

Let's hear what he has to say.

No sudden moves. This is extra spicy.

TAXER

(Keeps an eye on AL as he talks)

The Mexican representative wants to meet in Mexico City to discuss a peace settlement...

ELECTRA

Mexico City? We can't afford to go to Mexico City.

I will tell them either we meet here or no talks.

TAXER

Our government won't go for that.

They better.

TAXER

Well, I'll ask them but I doubt they'll say yes.

It's up to them. The Mexican representative is planning on coming here anyway.

(To others)

The message says the president of Mexico might come.

VAL

The president? Why?

He wants to help us break free from the United States.

ELECTRA

We'll turn this into a major event. That means we'll have to go shopping.

TAXER

You can't come to our country though.

VAL

What?

TAXER

You've broken away. And we refuse to do business with your country until you come to your senses and pay your taxes. And our country complete surrounds yours.

VAL

Oh, dear. This is a problem.

ELECTRA

But we get all our supplies from them.

SOPHIE

(Directs her comment at VAL)

That means no more coffee.

VAL

(Upset)

Oh, no. No coffee?

ELECTRA

This is more complicated than we thought.

VENESA

We'll figure something out.

TAXER

And don't even think of coming in. We have guards at the border. No one comes in or goes out.

You go back and tell your government that we're not afraid. Roadblocks don't frighten us. We have supplies in the basement that will last months. By then the rest of New Mexico will join us and you'll be in trouble.

TAXER

I don't have to stay and listen to this.

ELECTRA

And tell them we meet here or we don't meet at all.

TAXER

I'll tell them, but they won't like it.

(Exits R)

VAL

We don't have months' worth of supplies.

I didn't want to seem weak.

VENESA

You're speech was very good, father. You sure gave that tax collector something to think about.

(GENERAL enters L)

Really? It was that good.

VENESA

And with the Mexican government on our side, how can we lose?

VAL

But what about the supplies?

(Really upset)

What about my coffee?

SOPHIE

I used the last of the coffee this morning.

VAL

We're doomed.

We need some options people.

VENESA

We could wait for the Mexican representative to arrive.

But we can't stop making chiles. We have dozens of orders to fill.

ELECTRA

And we have to put on a good show if we're going to convince them that we're legitimate. Look at this place. We have a lot of work to do.

GENERAL

We could sneak into town.

Sneak? How?

GENERAL

Wait for nightfall. We sneak into town and take all we want.

VENESA

We�re not going to become thieves.

We won�t steal, but I think the raid is a good idea.

ELECTRA

How can we do both?

We pick the locks, get what we need, and leave the money for it.

VENESA

Sounds reasonable.

GENERAL

Leave money? For the enemy? Foolish and unnecessary.

ELECTRA

But the newspapers back East will love it.

VENESA

It might be dangerous though. Is everyone willing to take that risk?

VAL

As long as I get my coffee.

GENERAL

We need to take as many of us as possible. That will increase our changes for success.

Someone needs to stay here though.

ELECTRA

Let Venesa. If anyone comes, she's the best one to defend this place.

VENESA

I am?

ELECTRA

You're a good talker. You can buy us time.

GENERAL

(To ELECTRA)

But no women can go.

ELECTRA

And why not?

GENERAL

I do not take women to do a man's job.

ELECTRA

(Grabs him)

Now look here, buddy. I'm as tough as any man here.

(Puts GENERAL in headlock)

If not tougher.

GENERAL

(Nearly being strangled by ELECTRA, he changes mind)

Okay. You�re in.

ELECTRA

Good.

When do we leave?

GENERAL

Midnight.

ELECTRA

Let's all get to work. We probably don't have much time before the Mexican representatives arrive.

Only two days.

VENESA

Let's get moving.

CLEM

(Enters)

Wait! Don't you want to hear my new song?

(They all quickly leave except GENERAL)

Pearls among swine.

GENERAL

Let�s hear it.

CLEM

(Happy)

Okay. Here it goes:

(To Gilligan Island theme. Slow fade)

"Here's a tale of little country. It was started after a while. We just wanted to make chiles free, our taxes we wouldn't file. Our taxes we wouldn't file..."

(Blackout)

ACT I

Scene 3

(Night in an empty field. [Scene is brief and can be done with limited lighting on the same set or in front of a curtain] Lights come up on raiding party. ELECTRA, AL, LOU, VAL, and CLEM are all excitedly caring packages back. GENERAL hangs back looking at town. They are stop to rest a minute)

We did it!

ELECTRA

I can't believe we did, but we did.

VAL

And we have the general to thank. He is one clever sneak.

(Notices GENERAL)

Wait a minute. Is he okay?

ELECTRA

I don't know.

(Goes to GENERAL)

General?

(Ignores her)

General?

GENERAL

This was no victory. All this sneaking and creeping. I was trained to fight.

ELECTRA

Let�s go, General.

GENERAL

(Points to village)

We can't run away. All my life I�ve been running. I won�t run any more. We must turn and attack!

What? We can't do that.

(He grabs the GENERAL)

ELECTRA

He�s totally lost it. I told you we shouldn�t have hired him.

GENERAL

(Pushes AL down)

Get out of my way weakling. Men. Get your weapons.

(GENERAL pulls out a match)

We are going to burn their village.

You can't!

GENERAL

Watch me!

ELECTRA

Get him!

(They tackle the GENERAL and struggle with him)

(Off)

Over there!

It's the military. They see us.

ELECTRA

Get down.

(They hide upstage. U. S. soldiers [3 or more]

rush on stage and then stand at attention C facing the

audience. The LIEUTENANT enters)

False alarm. I guess I didn�t see the captain all.

(Everyone relaxes)

FRANK

How long do we have to be out here?

The captain said until sunrise.

JOE

How come we get the night shift?

MOE

Cause you're all a bunch of idiots.

FRANK

And you're not?

(MOE punches FRANK who punches back. MOE rubs his arm)

Then this is our chance to prove ourselves.

FRANK

Yeah, after this, they'll know we really are idiots.

(Looks off R)

Here comes the captain. A-tten-tion!

(LT is the only one who responds to his own command)

CAPTAIN

(Ignores LT who stays at attention and goes to others)

What are you soldiers doing?

JOE

Having a bake-off.

(Others laugh)

CAPTAIN

Ho, ho, ho. You're all real funny.

MOE

Look, captain. Lay off. It's bad enough we have to be on night duty.

CAPTAIN

This is a very important shift.

FRANK

(Under his breath)

Yeah, right.

CAPTAIN

This is the most likely time we will see the chile farm workers try to slip by...

JOE

I don't even know why we're bothering.

CAPTAIN

This is a matter of national security.

(During the rest of the scene, GENERAL, AL, ELECTRA, VAL, CLEM, and LOU try to sneak out. None of the soldiers notice)

You've got to stay alert.

(MOE is sleeping)

You've got to keep a watchful eye on your surroundings. This is not a game. This is real life. We have code a 3 section 31 conflict on our hands.

FRANK

What is code 3 section 31 anyway? I hear everyone talking about it, but only you guys know what it is.

CAPTAIN

Every officer has certain codes that he must learn. We guide ourselves and our soldiers on these codes. They are at the very heart of our military.

FRANK

And for two hundred dollars, code 3 section 31 is...

CAPTAIN

Tell them Lieutenant.

(Still at attention, but now worried)

Code 3?

CAPTAIN

Section 31.

Well... uh....

CAPTAIN

Never mind.

(Turns to go. The last New Mexican is slowly coming

through, trying to be invisible)

If we find out that one of those farm workers got by you, you're all history.

(CAPTAIN exits. LT salutes)

JOE

Fine. Kick me out. Please.

(Breaks down crying)

Go ahead. Make your jokes. You may not care, but this is my career.

FRANK

(To JOE)

Now look what you did.

JOE

I didn't make him cry.

FRANK

Did so.

(Pushes him)

JOE

Did not.

(Pushes back. They start fighting. FRANK and other soldier are cheering them on. NEW MEXICANS manage to escape)

Why me?

(Lights fade to black)

ACT I

Scene 3

(Night back at the farm. Rain can be heard. VENESA

sits by a window, staring sadly out. SOPHIE comes from

upstairs. Sees VENESA and goes to her)

SOPHIE

Can't sleep?

VENESA

I'm worried about everyone. I hope they make it.

SOPHIE

With the general, who knows what will happen. He ain�t got all his guns cocked if you know what I mean.

VENESA

Uh, no. Not really.

SOPHIE

He�s a few horses short of a corral? His cavalry ain�t got no bugler? He�s a duller than a rubber tomahawk?

(VENESA is still confused by all these and shakes her head at each)

He�s crazy.

(VENESA finally understands)

Watch them all get captured. That would be more than half the people in our country.

VENESA

We'd have to surrender then for sure.

SOPHIE

You want something from the kitchen?

VENESA

No. I'm fine.

(SOPHIE exits. VENESA sees something)

Hey, what's that? That must be them.

(Goes to door)

But what if it's not.

(Goes to window)

There's only one person. I hope everyone wasn't captured.

(Goes to door)

SOPHIE

Or maybe it's that tax collector. If it is, I'm going to knock him over the head. Then I'll grind him up. I�ll roast him like a chile and send them to the government.

(Pulling open door)

What do you want now...?

(Standing at the door, wet from rain, is a very good looking man)

KANDID

I would like...

(Short of breath)

VENESA

(Pushing SOPHIE out of the way. She speaks to him, almost breathless)

Yes?

KANDID

...to speak with you.

VENESA

Who are you?

KANDID

I'm Clint Kandid. I'm a photographer for National Geographic.

VENESA

Come in. Come in. Did you come to report on our independence?

KANDID

I'm not a reporter.

(Takes out camera and sets it up)

I'm a photographer. I capture and shape the light. I take everything that I see and make it my own.

VENESA

How did you find out about us?

KANDID

I was here on assignment, capturing modern New Mexico in pictures. It was then I heard of your little effort and I wanted to be the first to chronicle your history.

VENESA

I'm so thankful you're here. Tell me what you need. I'll do anything... to help.

KANDID

You must show me everything. You must put me in touch with the very soul of your movement.

VENESA

I am the soul...

KANDID

You are?

(He takes her picture)

VENESA

(Finally realizes she's in her night clothes)

I'm not dressed.

KANDID

It's perfect.

(He takes another picture)

VENESA

But isn't it too dark in here... for pictures.

KANDID

(Pause. Moves closer. Speaks softly)

I'm using special film.

(They look at each other)

VENESA

You don't even know my name.

KANDID

It's Venesa.

VENESA

How did you�?

KANDID

A photographer must know his subjects. I asked the people of the village who was here. Your names. What you were like. They said Venesa is the young, beautiful one who is the real heart of the movement.

(Holds up camera to take another picture)

And I see now that it is true.

VENESA

But how can you know?

KANDID

(Lowers camera. Steps closer)

Trust me. I know.

(Pause. VENESA would give anything for a kiss. He moves

closer. She closes her eyes. SOPHIE comes out)

SOPHIE

Are you sure you don't want anything?

(KANDID backs away. Adjusts his camera)

VENESA

(Still looking at KANDID)

No, I...

SOPHIE

Who's that?

VENESA

A photographer... Clint Kandid from National Geographic.

SOPHIE

We don't have any animals here.

KANDID

(Armed with a flash)

We do people too, ma'am.

(Takes a picture with a flash of SOPHIE)

SOPHIE

Ah! I'm blind!

VENESA

Now I see why you don't use a flash.

KANDID

I've never been good with a flash.

(Takes flash off)

Artificial light distorts. Only true light captures beauty.

SOPHIE

So what are you doing here?

KANDID

To document your struggle for independence.

SOPHIE

Where's your notepad?

KANDID

I speak with pictures.

SOPHIE

That won't do us any good. It'll probably take a year before your magazine publishes the pictures, then it will be too late.

VENESA

(Heartbroken)

Sophie's right. What we need now is a reporter.

KANDID

(Going to VENESA. Taking her hand)

Then I will get you a reporter.

VENESA

You will?

KANDID

(Pause. Looking in her eyes. VENESA waits for his

words. SOPHIE rolls her eyes)

Where's your telephone?

VENESA

We don�t have one. But we do have a telegraph.

KANDID

I�m a little rusty on my dots and dashes but I�ll give it a try.

SOPHIE

I'll show him to the telegraph. You stay and watch the door.

(KANDID takes another picture of VENESA and follows

SOPHIE out still taking pictures. Pauses at door)

If you take one more picture of me, I'll break your camera.

(SOPHIE goes in. KANDID takes another picture of her

from the doorway)

That does it.

(Pulls him in)

KANDID

(Off. Crash is heard)

My camera!

SOPHIE

The telegraph�s over there!

(SOPHIE comes out. KANDID is heard crying inside)

VENESA

What did you do?

SOPHIE

I warned him...

VENESA

Sophie. He's trying to help us. You can't treat him like that.

SOPHIE

He's a man. I can treat him any way I want.

VENESA

Now he probably won't help us.

SOPHIE

Oh, he'll be sticking around.

VENESA

What do you mean?

SOPHIE

I saw the way he looked at you. And the way you looked at him.

VENESA

He is wonderful.

SOPHIE

And you're a very pretty woman. He's hooked. He's not going anywhere.

VENESA

I hope you're right...

(Corrects herself)

For the sake of New Mexico.

SOPHIE

Yeah, right. I know what you mean.

VENESA

I've never met anyone like him.

SOPHIE

They don't make them like that in New Mexico.

VENESA

Why aren't men like that here?

SOPHIE

It's all the chile. Makes 'em too spicy.

VENESA

(Laughs)

You are so weird.

SOPHIE

I wonder if we can get him to take his shirt off.

VENESA

What?

SOPHIE

He's all wet. We need to dry him off.

VENESA

I can't believe you. You're awful.

SOPHIE

Fine. Suit yourself.

VENESA

I better get some clothes on.

SOPHIE

I think he likes you better like that.

VENESA

Will you go away somewhere?

KANDID

(Comes out)

The deed is done. I have sent a telegraph to a reporter. She will be here soon.

VENESA

It was that easy?

KANDID

(Smiles sadly)

That easy.

VENESA

You look sad.

KANDID

All those pictures I took of you, exposed. My vision...

(Looks at her, then away)

Broken.

VENESA

(Goes to him)

You can take them again.

KANDID

But it won't be the same.

(Looks at her)

That first moment can never be... again.

VENESA

But there will be other moments.

KANDID

(Sad)

Perhaps.

SOPHIE

Don't you guys usually carry a spare?

KANDID

That was my..."spare." The soldiers took my other one.

VENESA

Did they hurt you?

KANDID

No. They were an odd bunch. They took my camera and started arguing who would get it. They were so busy fighting with each other that I was able to slip by.

VENESA

Then maybe our raiding party has a chance.

SOPHIE

You're all wet. Let me get you a towel.

KANDID

And something warm to drink, please.

SOPHIE

Be right back.

KANDID

Venesa. What am I going to do? It will be hours before my friend arrives with a new camera. Time is being wasted just sitting here. I can't open my eyes without seeing something to take a picture of.

(Looks at her)

All this perfection... going to waste.

VENESA

Will nothing comfort you?

KANDID

I feel so empty. Like my entire soul has been ripped away.

VENESA

(Hand on his shoulder)

Is there any way I can help?

KANDID

(Turns to her. Takes her hands)

There is one way.

VENESA

Yes?

(Closes her eyes, ready for that long awaited kiss)

KANDID

Do you have a camera?

VENESA

(Opens eyes. Sighs)

I don't know.

KANDID

(Goes to her. Turns her to face him. Takes her

shoulders in his strong hands)

I would do anything for a camera.

VENESA

(Lost a moment in his eyes)

You know. I might have a camera upstairs.

KANDID

(Urgently)

Go get it. Please.

VENESA

I will.

(Starts up)

I will.

(Exits upstairs as SOPHIE enters)

SOPHIE

Here's some nice hot cocoa for you.

(Sets it at a table)

A towel.

(Slyly)

And another shirt. It should fit.

KANDID

(Takes off his shirt and towels off)

Thanks.

SOPHIE

(To herself)

I sure wish I had a camera now.

KANDID

(Puts on other shirt)

It's a little tight.

SOPHIE

(Smiles)

It will have to do until I get this one dry.

(Takes his shirt to kitchen)

VENESA

(Comes down excited)

I found one!

KANDID

You did? Hurry, let me see.

(Takes it from her. Frowns)

It�s a bit primitive.

VENESA

It's the only thing I have.

KANDID

(Smiles bravely as he takes it in his hands)

It will have to do.

(Kisses her on the cheek and VENESA blushes)

Thank you. Is there film?

(VENESA nods)

Shall we try it out?

(Points it at VENESA)

VENESA

On me?

KANDID

You are where the camera takes me.

VENESA

Take me then.

(Flash of camera)

Take me.

(Another picture)

KANDID

(Tosses picture aside)

Another?

VENESA

Yes.

(Flash of camera)

KANDID

And another?

VENESA

Oh, yes.

(Flash. He takes as many pictures as possible with the

slow camera)

KANDID

If only this camera would work faster.

VENESA

We have all the time you need.

KANDID

Oh, yes. I am a master. I can use any kind of camera.

(Goes to VENESA)

These pictures will be wonderful.

VENESA

(Looks at him)

Yes.

(He looks back. They look at each other. Finally)

Clint?

KANDID

Yes?

(VENESA kisses him. They kiss each other. AL,

ELECTRA, and VAL enter)

Hi, honey. We're home.

VAL

And we bring coffee.

ELECTRA

(Sees KANDID and VENESA who are still kissing)

Oh my...

The enemy!

VAL

She's in a strangle hold!

(KANDID turns and is attacked by AL and VAL. VENESA

screams)

ELECTRA

(Goes to VENESA)

It's okay, dear. You're safe now.

VENESA

(Pushes ELECTRA away and starts hitting VAL)

Let him go!

VAL

(Cowers)

Hey, ow! Stop!

ELECTRA

Venesa. What are you doing?

(AL lets KANDID go)

VENESA

He wasn't hurting me.

Then what was he doing?

VENESA

(Embarrassed)

He was kissing me.

What?!

VENESA

Or rather I kissed him.

ELECTRA

That's an interesting way to defend the farm against soldiers.

I don�t think that�s wise.

VENESA

He's not a soldier, father. He's a photographer.

KANDID

I came to document the struggles of your new country.

ELECTRA

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope they didn't hurt you.

Wait. He might be lying. Where's your camera?

KANDID

(Reluctantly holds up VENESA�s)

Here. Sophie broke the other one.

VAL

Likely story.

VENESA

It's true.

ELECTRA

Come, come. We must get all the supplies.

VAL

(Quickly goes to kitchen)

I must make some coffee first.

VENESA

Where the general?

ELECTRA

We got half-way back here and the general went nuts on us. He ordered us to turn around and burn the village.

I'm afraid we had to knock him over the head to get him to stop.

VENESA

Is he okay?

I hope so. We better go check on him.

KANDID

I'll go with you and help.

Yes, why don't you come with me? I think we need to have a talk.

(They exit)

VENESA

I hope father goes easy on him.

ELECTRA

Your father only has a chile gun. He can't do that much damage.

VENESA

You can't blame Clint for any of this. I'm the one who kissed him first.

ELECTRA

(At window)

I can see why. He is one fine hunk of man.

VENESA

(Shocked)

Mother!

ELECTRA

Just because I'm married doesn't mean I have to behave like a nun.

(Getting serious)

And just because you're not married, doesn't mean you can go around kissing every good-looking man who comes along. Though I can hardly blame you in this case.

VENESA

I don't know why I kissed him. I guess I got a little too caught up in what he was saying. I sort of lost control.

ELECTRA

You didn't do more than kissing did you?

VENESA

No, of course not. I don't go around throwing myself at men. I'm shocked I even kissed him. Maybe I'm going crazy. I'm probably so mixed up because I'm tired. I couldn't get any sleep because I was so worried about all of you. I'm so glad you all made it back okay.

ELECTRA

I couldn't believe we didn't have any trouble. You should have seen those guards on the border. They were so busy with their own matters that they didn't even notice us. We probably could have rode horses by them and they wouldn't have noticed.

VENESA

We can't be too careful though. This time we were lucky, but next time...

ELECTRA

(VAL comes out)

Hopefully we won't have to worry about another time. With the Mexican government coming, we may have enough supplies to get us through.

VAL

(Sipping coffee)

Oh, how did I ever survive without you, my java miracle?

ELECTRA

Val. I think you have a serious problem.

VAL

Correction. "Had" a serious problem. Now that I have my cup of joe, I am cured.

VENESA

I wish all problems could be resolved that easily.

(AL and KANDID enter with supplies. CLEM and

LOU enter with THE GENERAL between them. THE

GENERAL is barely conscious)

We have returned.

(They sit GENERAL in chair)

KANDID

Where do we put the supplies?

(VENESA takes supplies from father)

Cast of Characters

Time and Place