The Chile Pepper Chicks
By
D. M. Larson
Copyright © 2005
Cast of Characters
PEPPER: Lead guitar of the Chile Pepper Chicks who faints when nervous
CHI-CHI: Lead singer of the Chile Pepper Chicks
SCENE 1
(Lights come up on a stage set up with various boxes, etc, a nice guitar and a backdrop for a Country Star Competition)
(PEPPER and CHI-CHI enter)
CHI-CHI
I can’t believe you made us late again, Pepper.
PEPPER
I’m sorry Chi-Chi. I had to get my rhinestones polished.
(PEPPER gets out her guitar and sets it on a stand)
CHI-CHI
You need to stop worrying about your appearance and think more about the music.
PEPPER
My appearance is half of what makes us an attraction, Chi-chi.
CHI-CHI
Your appearance? What about mine?
PEPPER
Sorry, sis. But you kind of let yourself go.
CHI-CHI
What?
PEPPER
The only reason we keep you on is because of your singing.
CHI-CHI
We? We who?
PEPPER
We, me and the fans.
CHI-CHI
The fans adore me.
PEPPER
They adore me. They tolerate you.
CHI-CHI
That’s it. After this I’m going solo.
PEPPER
Good luck with that.
CHI-CHI
I can do it. I can.
PEPPER
You can’t even play an instrument. Or even write your own music. You’re lucky I can’t sing or I’d be going solo. Maybe I could just lipsinc. The lipsinc thing is big now.
CHI-CHI
You’d never make it either. You’d be like a deer in a headlight.
PEPPER
I wouldn’t.
(Gets scared)
CHI-CHI
You’re terrified of being on stage. The only reason you survive is because all eyes are on me… the singer. You’re nothing without me either.
PEPPER
(Scared)
Man this place is big.
CHI-CHI
Oh, no. Don’t you…
PEPPER
How many people are gonna be here, Chi-Chi? Are they gonna have people here for the audition? Looks like a lot of people could be here.
CHI-CHI
Nobody’s here. Just us.
PEPPER
(Starts breathing hard)
I can’t do this, Chi-Chi.
(Breathing really hard)
CHI-CHI
Come on. You’ve played hundred of bars in front of hundreds of people.
PEPPER
But not all at once.
CHI-CHI
Calm down, Pepper. It’ll be okay.
PEPPER
Can’t… breathe…
CHI-CHI
Don’t do this, Pepper. You always do this when we get close… Please not now. This is our…
(PEPPER passes out into crate so only her boot are showing)
… big break.
(Looks at her)
Pepper?
(Gets angry)
Pepper!
(Looks at watch)
You know what? You want to go solo? Fine. You go solo. Have a nice audition.
(Stomps off stage)
See the entire play (warning - longer version is PG-13)
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Thank you for selecting my script. Have fun and enjoy the play.
Sincerely,
D. M. Larson