WHO WANTS TO BE MY BULLY?
by D. M. Larson
Hello. I am taking applications to my official bully. I want to make sure the right person is picking on me day after day. It's a very unique and special relationship. Ready for some questions? Okay. First of all, are you interested in my lunch money or my lunch? Because if you need the cash I will bring that it if you prefer to have me bring a lunch already prepared, I can do that too.
No this isn't a joke. I'm very serious about this. Or do you prefer I tell jokes? Are you the knock knock joke kind where you walk up and knock on my head? Knock! Knock! Or do you prefer the walk in to the bar kind of jokes?
I could try work up some dirty jokes too but that seems more appropriate for your friends to tell than your victims. We have to have the right kind of relationship here. We need familiarity without closeness.
I can provide services such as homework preparation and go-foring - in return I ask that I only receive swirlies at the end of the day so I can go home and shower after. And then one more thing - the most important part of all this - I ask for your protection. I want you to protect me from all the other bullies. This has to be an exclusive bullying arrangement and you have to make sure you step in at the first sign of any danger from other bullies. I like my day to be predictable - deliver your homework in the morning - lunch or lunch money at noon and then a farewell swirly or wedgie in the afternoon - yes I will even throw a few wedgies in the deal - so what do you say? Do we have a deal? Good - sign here please.
END OF MONOLOGUE
Need a PDF? Play our trivia game and win access to a huge selection of our Freedrama plays in PDF form (click “Article” at the end of the game under “Play Again”).
Free Stage Play Scripts at Freedrama.net
*Freedrama scripts by D. M. and Shiela Larson are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop.
All mentions of the script should include the author (D. M. Larson) and the source (Freedrama.net).
In return for using the script royalty free, we would be most thankful if you completed 1 or more of the following: http://www.freedrama.net/nocost.html (subscribe and share freedrama.net on social media or share a printed poster).
IMPORTANT: The text of this script is copyright protected material. You are NOT allowed to repost the text of the script online for any reason (even educational). You may create a link to the script on Freedrama.net, but do not republish or redistribute the text of the script in any way online.
MAKING A VIDEO?
If the play is recorded as a video and posted on the internet in any way, please begin the online description of the video with "From a Freedrama.net free stage play script." Here are additional rules for using scripts for videos: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/07/would-you-like-to-use-free-script-for.html
CHARGING ADMISSION? ARE YOU PLACING ADS ON YOUR VIDEO?
OPTION 1: If you produce the script for profit, you can still use the play for free if you agree to add a link to freedrama.net on your website (please share the webpage where you added the link). OPTION 2: Or you can purchase copies of the play for each member of your cast at Amazon.com and use the play royalty free. OPTION 3: If you prefer to pay the royalty instead of completing one of the above requests then you can do so at http://www.freedrama.net/royalty.html
**Please email firstname.lastname@example.org and state that you agree to the above requirements and you will be given permission to use the script.**
Thank you for selecting our plays. Have fun and please let us know how it goes.
D. M. and Shiela Larson
Tweet to @freedrama
Freedrama offers the following types of plays:
Freedrama provides free stage play scripts for actors, directors, teachers and students. Our free theatre resources are for both schools and theatre groups. Freedrama also has free help for new actors including a no cost online acting school. Improve your acting and communication skills with our variety of educational materials including improv drama games and fun learning activities such as MadScripts.
MORE FREE PLAYS FROM FREEDRAMA.NET!
*Freedrama scripts are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop. But ALL mentions and printouts of the script should include the author (D. M. Larson) and the source (Freedrama.net). You may add links to the scripts on your website, but do NOT repost the text of this script online, even for educational use. For more information, please see my blog post “How Plagiarism Hurts Authors.”
If you produce the script for an audience or profit, you can do one of the following options:
You can purchase a script for each actor (member of your cast) from Amazon http://amzn.to/2iRPBFl
Or become a $10 per month (or higher) level patron at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4774716 and use all freedrama.net scripts royalty free.