HAVE YOU HUGGED AN ORPHAN TODAY?

 

(A Modern Day Robin Hood)

 

by D. M. Larson

 

 

Copyright (c) 1989

All Rights Reserved*

 

 

 

* * *

ACT I Scene 1

 

(Lights come up, C, on a large, chubby man sitting

on a park bench, reading a newspaper. A slender

man in forest green and carrying a staff comes

leaping in from off R)

 

ROBIN

Ah, ha! I have you now, John!

 

JOHN

(Still reading his paper)

Hi, Robin

 

ROBIN

How do you like my new outfit?

 

JOHN

(Still not looking up)

Lovely.

 

ROBIN

What's so fascinating, Einstein?

 

JOHN

Listen to this: "Duke Louis' county home robbed!

(ROBIN moves in for a look)

Officials that investigated came to the conclusion that the crime was committed by a flawless professional, for no clues were found."

 

ROBIN

(Unenthusiastically)

Nice, John.

 

JOHN

What's wrong with flawless? They're paying you a nice compliment.

(He pokes ROBIN)

 

ROBIN

It's just that the story about the anonymous donation to the orphanage made the last page. The last page, John. How come the bad is more press-worthy than the good?

 

JOHN

(Turning to the last page)

What do you expect, Robin? The paper needs to sell papers and good news doesn't sell.

(ROBIN is staring off into space)

What're you thinking about?

 

ROBIN

(Smiles)

The orphans.

 

JOHN

How's their play coming?

 

ROBIN

Great. They love Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Oh. And the little girl that plays Wendy...

 

JOHN

Samantha?

 

ROBIN

Yah. She'll be a star someday.

 

JOHN

(Seriously)

Robin.

(Pause)

 

ROBIN

Yah?

 

JOHN

Do you ever wonder if what you are doing is right?

 

ROBIN

(Slight pause)

Robbing from the rich. Giving to the poor. Who is right? Who is wrong? Does the end justify the means? I never stop wondering. But then I see the smiling faces of those precious orphans and nothing in this world can stop me.

 

JOHN

You're reckless and a hopeless romantic.

 

ROBIN

(Smiles)

So what's the problem?

 

JOHN

(Smiles back)

What would we do without you?

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 2

 

(Lights come up, C, on a nun, MOTHER CARMEN. She

is sitting while she sews a button on a shirt.

ROBIN jumps dramatically onstage from off L. He's

dressed in a make-shift Captain Hook costume.)

 

ROBIN

There's no escape, Peter Pan!

 

CARMEN

(Without looking up from her sewing)

Hello, Robin. The children are having lunch.

 

ROBIN

(Disappointed)

Oh.

 

CARMEN

(Finishing her sewing)

Thank you for the donation.

 

ROBIN

(Innocently)

What donation?

 

CARMEN

(Sternly)

Robin.

 

ROBIN

(Sighing)

You're welcome.

 

CARMEN

(Concerned)

I still don't understand why you do all this stealing...

(ROBIN clears his throat)

...borrowing from the rich?

 

ROBIN

The orphans need it more than they do.

 

CARMEN

But, it's still theirs.

 

ROBIN

They just spend it on their fancy parties and buy fancy things that don't last, so they have to buy more fancy things.

 

CARMEN

That's still no excuse.

 

ROBIN

(Sadly and slowly)

I remember what it was like when I lived here as a child. We had no money and many of us were starving.

(A tear escapes his eye)

My brother...starved to death here. He starved because we had very little food and what he had, he gave to me. I was young, I didn't realize what he was doing to himself...

(Angry)

I don't want that to happen again with these children or anyone in our community. Nothing can stop me from helping these people.

(Slight pause)

I pray that God will one day forgive me.

 

CARMEN

(Going to him and taking him in her arms)

Everything will be all right, Robin. Everything will be just fine.

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 3

 

(Lights come up and JOHN comes strolling in from

off L licking his fingers. ROBIN sneaks up behind

him)

 

ROBIN

(Loudly)

Hi, John!

 

JOHN

(Jumps and turns)

Hi, Robin.

 

ROBIN

(Wiping some cream off JOHN'S beard [or face])

Cream puff, huh? Storing up for winter?

 

JOHN

(Poking ROBIN in the shoulder and then crossing to

C)

Come on. Let's go.

(ROBIN follows, rubbing where he had been poked.

JOHN stops C and looks at something off R that has

caught his eye)

 

ROBIN

(Standing on his tippy toes and squinting)

What is it?

 

JOHN

Some ritzy cars coming down the street...

(Shocked and surprised)

By Gandhi, it's Princess Marian! You don't see her around here very much...

 

ROBIN

Wow! That's Princess Marian?

 

JOHN

Yep.

 

ROBIN

(To himself)

If I could only meet her, for one little second, simply to say my name...

 

JOHN

The cars are stopping.

 

ROBIN

(Straining to look)

Really?

 

JOHN

(Astonished)

And Princess Marian is getting out of her car...

(ROBIN disappears off L leaving JOHN looking off

R)

The children love her. She is so kind to them. I wonder why she is here?

(Waits for a reply)

Robin?

(Turns and sees he is alone, sighs)

Great. He's in love again. The boy needs some kind of shot...

(JOHN exits L)

 

(PRINCESS MARIAN comes on from R. She looks

around her at the shops and the people. A stooped

old man enters from L and crosses to MARIAN. He

supports himself with a wooden cane and carries a

metal cup)

 

MARIAN

(Seeing old man)

Hello, good sir. Lovely day, isn't it?

 

OLD MAN

(Thrusting out his cup)

Spare a Schand for the less fortunate?

 

MARIAN

(Smiling, she places two silver coins in his cup)

Anything for such a fine gentleman.

 

OLD MAN

Your charity can only be rivaled by your beauty, my fair lady.

 

MARIAN

Farewell, kind sir.

 

(She exits R)

 

OLD MAN

Farewell, Princess Marian.

(He turns and starts to exit L, but JOHN comes on

and stops him. The OLD MAN puts on a huge smile

and holds out his cup)

Spare a Schand for the less fortunate?

 

JOHN

Take off that stupid get up, Robin.

 

ROBIN

(Standing upright)

I rather like it.

 

JOHN

Were you bugging the Princess?

 

ROBIN

(Sighing deeply)

Oh, John! How beautiful she is! I had to be near her.

(He is dancing about)

Cupid had found his mark and I am forever hers.

 

JOHN

(Scolding him)

Someday you're going to get yourself into a heap of trouble.

 

ROBIN

(Stopping his love dance)

John. You're about as romantic as a rock.

(ROBIN begins his dance again and JOHN slaps a

hand over his face as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 4

 

(Lights come up, DL, on the sheriff's office.

SHERIFF KNOT is sitting at his desk with his feet

propped up and is cleaning his gun. To the L of

the office is bench that is inside an invisible

cell. KNOT'S secretary GINA cautiously enters

from R)

 

GINA

(Sounding a bit afraid)

Uh, Sheriff Knot?

 

KNOT

(Annoyed)

What?

 

GINA

(Scared)

I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.

 

KNOT

Then why did you?

 

GINA

You...you wanted me to tell you when it was one o'clock.

 

KNOT

(Smiles)

Time to collect taxes from the far side of town.

(He stuffs his gun in his holster. Then he yawns

and stretches. GINA is standing nervously by)

What are you still doing in here?!

(GINA jumps and quickly exits R. KNOT smiles and

laughs at successfully terrorizing GINA. He gets

up from his chair and pulls out an appointment

book, flipping through it)

Let's see. Who's my first victim? Ah! The Harvey's...and it's little Jimmy's birthday.

(Figuring)

That means they have a few extra Schands saved up.

(Making a mark in his book)

Time to double their taxes for...

(Pause)

I'll figure out some reason on the way there.

(He exits R as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 5

 

(Lights come up on SHERIFF KNOT who is crossing to

RC while jingling his money pouch. He stops and

raps on a pantomimed door. MRS. HARVEY enters

from off R and opens the door)

 

MRS. HARVEY

(Forcing a smile)

Good afternoon, Sheriff Knot.

 

KNOT

(Gruff and demanding)

Taxes are due. One-hundred and twenty Schands.

 

MRS. HARVEY

Is...isn't that a...little high, Sheriff?

(KNOT stares coldly at her and is about to say

something when ROBIN and JOHN enter from off L)

 

ROBIN

(Going to KNOT)

One-hundred and twenty Schands? What does the government need now?

 

KNOT

(Slowly turning to face ROBIN)

Who might you be?

 

ROBIN

(Smiling)

Who me? I'm no one. Sorry to interrupt you.

 

KNOT

(Turning back to MRS. HARVEY)

Pay up.

(MRS. HARVEY looks silently at ROBIN and he nods.

She pays the money from a small purse at hand.

KNOT smiles greedily as he drops the money in his

pouch)

 

ROBIN

(Politely)

Excuse me, Sheriff. May I please see that glorious handgun that you so proudly carry at your side?

 

KNOT

(Looks at ROBIN curiously a moment, then:)

Why sure, boy.

(Carefully handing over gun)

 

ROBIN

(Like a small kid)

Gee. That's a neat gun, sir.

(He places it back in KNOT'S holster)

Thanks, sir. Thanks a lot.

 

KNOT

You're welcome, son.

(He strides proudly off L)

 

JOHN

(Staring at ROBIN in amazement)

Have you gone mad?

 

ROBIN

Hardly.

(And he shows JOHN the sheriff's money bag)

 

(They share a good laugh as the lights fade to

black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 6

 

(Lights come up, DR, on ROBIN and JOHN. ROBIN is

lying on his stomach reading a book. JOHN is

sitting on a chair in the corner staring sadly at

ROBIN)

 

ROBIN

(Unable to take his friend's staring)

What, John?

 

JOHN

(Warning)

You're walking on thin ice with the Sheriff from now on. He was the wrong person to cross swords with. You may not come out the victor.

 

ROBIN

(Popping to his feet, he crosses to JOHN and

kneels before him, pleading dramatically)

Think of all those families the Sheriff's money I liberated helped. Think of how happy we made them. Would you want to take all that away, John?

(JOHN crosses his arms and give him the evil eye.

ROBIN jumps to his feet and waves and invisible

sword)

Besides, I'd cut him in two if he even came near me.

 

JOHN

I just want you to be careful.

 

ROBIN

(Getting back to his book)

You worry too much.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 7

 

(Lights come up on KNOT nailing an imaginary sign

in the Harvey's front lawn. KNOT stands back and

admires the sign. MRS. HARVEY comes on form R and

opens her door. She sees the sign and is almost

driven to tears)

 

KNOT

Good day, Mrs. Harvey.

 

MRS. HARVEY

(Trying to be polite)

What...what's going on? Is this a mistake?

 

KNOT

(Pointing to the sign)

The sign says "For Rent" and it means just that.

(Smiling)

You're being evicted.

 

ROBIN

(Coming on form L, he cries)

Well, howdy, Sheriff!

(KNOT nearly jumps out of his socks and MRS.

HARVEY is overjoyed. KNOT spins around angrily)

Oh! Did I startle you?

 

KNOT

(Growling)

Now, listen you! If I ever catch you stepping out of line, you'll never see the light of day again!

(They stare coldly at each other a moment and then

ROBIN departs L. KNOT smiles and turns on MRS.

HARVY)

You have three days to get out!

 

MRS. HARVEY

Three...days?

 

KNOT

Make it two.

(He looks over the house a moment and then exits

L. MRS. HARVEY watches him go. Off L a car is

started and begins to leave. Suddenly the car

makes a horrible sound and comes to a scraping

stop. ROBIN comes on from L and shows the

contents of his hand to MRS. HARVEY)

 

ROBIN

The Sheriff's lug nuts.

(MRS. HARVEY and ROBIN share a smile)

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 8

 

(Lights come up, DR, on JOHN who is sitting in a

chair, reading the paper. ROBIN comes in from R,

excited)

 

ROBIN

John!

 

JOHN

(Still reading paper)

What?

 

ROBIN

I found a new house for the Harvey's.

 

JOHN

(Interested)

Where?

 

ROBIN

It's a cozy little place a few blocks away from their old house.

 

JOHN

Can they afford it?

 

ROBIN

Well, I paid the deposit and the first month's rent myself. They'll pay me back eventually.

 

JOHN

More like never.

 

ROBIN

John.

 

JOHN

I'm sorry, Robin. That's not what I meant.

 

ROBIN

I know.

 

JOHN

You'll never allow them to pay you back.

 

ROBIN

I don't believe in lending money...

 

JOHN

You just give it away.

 

ROBIN

Right.

 

JOHN

What am I going to do with you?

(ROBIN steals a section of the paper and sits on

the floor)

You did the right thing, helping the Harvey's.

 

ROBIN

(Looking through the paper)

Thanks.

 

JOHN

You're quite welcome.

 

ROBIN

Hey, John. Listen to this.

 

JOHN

What is it?

 

ROBIN

It's under the "Royal Review".

 

JOHN

(Sarcastically)

Oh, boy.

 

ROBIN

(Ignoring JOHN'S remark)

"Princess Marian to Give Party of the Century Friday Night".

(ROBIN goes into deep thought)

 

JOHN

(Worried)

Oh, no. You're not...

 

ROBIN

(Standing)

I wonder what I should wear?

 

(JOHN slaps a frustrated hand over his face as the

lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 9

 

(Lights come up on MARIAN and her mother the

QUEEN. They nod at and welcome invisible guests

as they pass by. MARIAN doesn't look very happy)

 

QUEEN

(Aside to MARIAN)

Smile, dear.

 

MARIAN

I can't, mother.

 

QUEEN

You must. Don't you want the right prince to notice you?

 

MARIAN

It certainly won't be anyone here.

 

QUEEN

Come now, Marian. There are plenty of fine princes at this party.

 

MARIAN

(Looking around)

Where?

 

QUEEN

(Waving her hand)

All around you. Can't you see them?

 

MARIAN

No.

 

QUEEN

Look at Prince Bradly.

 

MARIAN

Why does he have his finger in his nose?

 

QUEEN

He has nasal trouble.

(Looking around)

How about Prince Gregory?

 

MARIAN

Prince Gregory?

 

QUEEN

He's a very fine looking man.

 

MARIAN

He's also a vegetable.

 

QUEEN

What more could you ask for in a husband? Good looks and no brain.

 

MARIAN

(Seriously)

I want someone who will love me, not my throne.

 

QUEEN

What about Prince John?

 

MARIAN

Case in point.

 

QUEEN

He has both looks and a brain.

 

MARIAN

He's also a sceeming little...

 

QUEEN

(Embarrassed)

Marian!

 

MARIAN

(Seeing a man off L)

Who is that?

 

QUEEN

(Looking)

I don't know.

(Her attention goes to off R)

Prince John, darling, let me have a word with you.

(She goes off R. MARIAN is staring off L. ROBIN

enters from L, carrying a drink, looking back at

her. He stops and they stare deeply into each

other's eyes)

 

ROBIN

(Moving forward)

Hello...

 

KNOT

(Coming on from R)

Hello, Robin.

(He steps between them)

Who invited you, son?

 

ROBIN

(After scowling for a quick second, he flashes a

huge smile and vigorously shakes the Sheriff's

hand)

Hello, Sheriff. How are you doing tonight?

 

KNOT

(Ripping his hand away)

Get out of here, Robin.

 

ROBIN]

Your wish is my command.

(ROBIN bows and spills his drink down the front of

KNOT'S pants. Then ROBIN tenderly kisses MARIAN'S

hand)

Farewell, Marian.

(ROBIN exits L. MARIAN watches him go, giving her

first smile of the scene. KNOT blushes as he

tries to dry himself. MARIAN looks at KNOT and

giggles, and then exits L. PRINCE JOHN strolls on

from R. He approaches KNOT)

 

PRINCE

(Looking off L)

Who was that man?

 

KNOT

(Not seeing him approaching)

Huh? Oh, Prince John. How are you this evening?

(He hides his wet spot with a napkin)

 

PRINCE

(Hotly)

Who was that person?

 

KNOT

(Trying to keep his cool)

That was uh...uh...

(Starting to lose his temper)

...a mischievous, little brat...

(Calming himself)

...by the name of Robin.

 

PRINCE

Robin who?

 

KNOT

(Thinking a moment)

Why, I don't believe I know his last name.

(Upset with himself for not knowing)

 

PRINCE

(A bit angry)

You don't know his last name?

 

KNOT

I'm...I'm sorry.

 

PRINCE

(Stern and commanding)

Sheriff Knot, I don't want him interfering in royal affairs. I want you to make sure he doesn't.

 

KNOT

I'll try my best.

 

PRINCE

No, Sheriff, you will DO your best. Or I will find someone else to take care of it in your place.

(PRINCE exits R, leaving KNOT quite disturbed.

Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 10

 

(Lights come up on CARMEN standing C. ROBIN

rushes in from R)

 

ROBIN

Sorry I'm late, Mother Carmen.

 

CARMEN

(Firmly)

You know I frown upon tardiness.

 

ROBIN

I'm very sorry.

 

CARMEN

Samantha would like to speak to you before you begin play practice with the children.

 

ROBIN

Yes, Mother Carmen.

(Lights come up, DR, on a little girl, SAMANTHA.

ROBIN crosses to her as the lights fade C on

CARMEN)

Hi, Samantha.

 

SAMANTHA

(Sadly)

Hi, Robin.

 

ROBIN

What's wrong?

 

SAMANTHA

I'm scared.

 

ROBIN

Scared? Of what?

 

SAMANTHA

I can't get up in front of all those people.

 

ROBIN

(Understanding)

Stage fright, huh?

 

SAMANTHA

Yah.

 

ROBIN

Boy, I sure understand that.

 

SAMANTHA

Really?

 

ROBIN

I'm going to let you in on a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone.

 

SAMANTHA

I promise.

 

ROBIN

When I was about your age, I was in my first play.

 

SAMANTHA

Did you have a big part?

 

ROBIN

The biggest. I was so excited and on opening night I marched right out on stage. The curtain opened, the audience clapped...

(Dramatic pause)

 

SAMANTHA

And then what happened?

 

ROBIN

(Embarrassed)

I wet my pants.

 

SAMANTHA

(Giggling)

You what?

 

ROBIN

I relieved myself, then and there, in front of everyone.

 

SAMANTHA

(Stopping her laughter)

Is this supposed to make me feel better?

 

ROBIN

The show had to go on, so Mother Carmen came to me with this.

(ROBIN takes a rock out of his pocket and shows it

to her)

 

SAMANTHA

(Examining it)

It's a rock.

 

ROBIN

(Dramatically)

It's not just any rock. It's a magic rock.

 

SAMANTHA

Magic?

 

ROBIN

All great actors and actresses have had magic rocks. And you, my dear, shall also have this honor.

(He gives her the rock)

 

SAMANTHA

Thanks.

(She looks at it and then clutches it tightly)

I feel better already.

(She hugs ROBIN and then exits L. MOTHER CARMEN

comes on from R)

 

CARMEN

Did you get everything worked out?

 

ROBIN

Yup. She just had a little case of stage fright.

 

CARMEN

Will she be all right?

 

ROBIN

I think I took care of it.

 

CARMEN

(Smiling)

I remember when you had a bad case of stage fright.

 

ROBIN

Don't remind me.

 

CARMEN

How did I solve that one?

 

ROBIN

With a magic rock.

 

CARMEN

Magic? Oh, yes. I remember now. Did you ever believe that?

 

ROBIN

(Seriously)

I figured since it was from you, you were giving me the magic of God. With that, I knew I couldn't fail.

 

CARMEN

You do me honor, Robin.

 

ROBIN

I wish I could do a lot more than that for all that you have done for me.

 

CARMEN

Go work with the children. They're waiting.

 

ROBIN

Yes, Mother Carmen.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 11

 

(Lights come up, DR, on JOHN under some bed

covers, trying to sleep. ROBIN enters from R)

 

ROBIN

Howdy, John!

 

JOHN

(Sleepily)

Hello, Robin.

(He pulls the covers over his head, but exposes

his feet)

 

ROBIN

(Taking off his shoes)

We made a great deal of progress tonight with the kid's play. They're having fun with it, too. That's the important thing.

 

JOHN

(Sitting up and covering his feet)

That's nice.

 

ROBIN

(Arranging his sheets)

Boy, aren't we the sour pomegranate tonight?

 

JOHN

Goodnight.

 

ROBIN

Goodnight, John.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 12

 

(Lights come up, DR, on ROBIN and JOHN asleep)

 

ROBIN

(Awakening and sitting up)

Sirens. I wonder what's going on.

(He gets up and goes downstage to look out a

window)

 

JOHN

(Awakening)

What's with all the noise?

 

ROBIN

Take a look at this.

(JOHN gets up and goes to the window)

What's going on?

 

JOHN

(Shrugging)

Dunno.

 

ROBIN

Let's have a look.

(ROBIN starts to go but JOHN grabs him)

 

JOHN

Let's not. I have a bad feeling about it.

 

(ROBIN returns to the window and they watch

together as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 13

 

(Lights come up, C, on a very upset MOTHER CARMEN.

KNOT enters from R)

 

KNOT

(Officially)

What seems to be the trouble?

 

CARMEN

Sheriff, one of the children has been kidnapped.

 

KNOT

Kidnapped!

(Thinking a moment)

Are you sure she didn't run away?

 

CARMEN

Yes. I'll show you her room.

(They go DLC)

Her name is Samantha. I went in to wake her up and she was gone. Then I noticed that the window was open. Checking it, I discovered that it had been forced open from the outside. On the ledge, I found her favorite doll torn in two.

(During this, KNOT is checking out the room)

 

KNOT

(Finding something and displaying it)

A man's watch.

(CARMEN looks closely and is horrified with

recognition)

There's an inscription. "To Robin, thank you for all your love and support".

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 14

 

(Lights come up, DR, on ROBIN and JOHN. ROBIN is

searching for something)

 

ROBIN

Say, John, have you seen my watch anywhere?

 

JOHN

No. Maybe you left it at the orphanage.

 

ROBIN

Yah. I'll go check.

 

JOHN

Wait. Are Knot and his goons gone yet?

 

ROBIN

(Looking out window)

All clear. I'll be back in a while.

 

JOHN

Be careful.

 

ROBIN

Yes, mother.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 15

 

(Lights come up on MOTHER CARMEN. ROBIN enters

from R. CARMEN is crying)

 

ROBIN

(Concerned)

Mother Carmen. What's...

 

CARMEN

Robin!

(Grabbing him and looking frantically around)

 

ROBIN

Mother...

 

CARMEN

Samantha has been kidnapped.

 

ROBIN

What?

 

CARMEN

The Sheriff found your watch in her room and is sure you did it...

 

ROBIN

But, I didn't...

 

CARMEN

I know you didn't, but he thinks you did. You're a wanted man, Robin. You must hide out until this whole thing...

 

KNOT

(Off L)

Mother Carmen?

 

CARMEN

(Handing ROBIN something and whispering loudly)

Take this. I found it outside Samantha's window.

(She points for him to go off R)

Now, go!

 

(ROBIN runs off R as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 16

 

(Lights come up dimly on DR. ROBIN is huddled

against the wall trying to keep warm)

 

ROBIN

(Cold)

Why is this happening? Who did this to me? And why Samantha? My only hope is to find her and turn the kidnappers in.

(Taking something from his pocket)

I wonder what Mother Carmen gave me?

(Looking at it)

A matchbook. Ah-ha. It's a clue.

(He gets up and examines it)

The Wounded Vulture. Ooo. Bad part of town. And inside...

(He opens it)

...is a phone number.

(Reaching in his pocket and taking out a coin)

With a quarter Schand and a phone, I'll be on my way.

(He starts to go and he grabs his empty stomach)

I shoulda had a V-8.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 17

 

(Lights come up, DR, on ROBIN using a pretend

phone booth)

 

ROBIN

(Dialing and then waiting)

It's ringing.

(Pause)

 

(Lights come up, DL, on KNOT answering the phone)

 

KNOT

Hello, Sheriff Knot here.

(ROBIN hangs up)

 

ROBIN

Good ol' Sheriff Knot.

(Lights fade on ROBIN)

 

KNOT

(Hanging up phone)

Why do I put up with this? That's why I hired you, Gina! So I don't have to listen to the stupid people of this town and their stupid complaints!

 

GINA

(Entering from R)

Sheriff Knot?

 

KNOT

What?

 

GINA

There's a man here to see you.

 

KNOT

Who is it?

 

GINA

He said something about wounded vultures and little girls.

 

KNOT

Don't just stand there! Send him in.

 

GINA

Yes, sir.

 

KNOT

(To himself)

Do I have to do everything myself?

(MAN comes in)

 

MAN

(Pause)

Well?

 

KNOT

Oh, yah.

(Handing over envelope)

It's all there.

 

MAN

(Stuffing it in his coat)

How long?

 

KNOT

Until I catch Robin.

 

MAN

(Exiting R)

Hurry it up. I'm a busy man.

 

KNOT

(Standing)

Don't worry. I've almost got him. There's no way he can escape now.

 

(Lights fade on KNOT and come up on MAN crossing C

and into the darkness DR. An old man [ROBIN]

appears for off L and follows. Lights come up DR and fade. SAMANTHA is tied and sitting in a

chair. MAN approaches her)

 

MAN

I'm back, little girl. Did you have a nice day today?

(SAMANTHA is scared stiff)

Good, glad to hear it.

(Knock at the door L)

Who's there?

(No answer and another knock)

I said, who's there?!

(Now constant knocking. MAN answers angrily.)

What do you want?

 

ROBIN

(Pushing his way in)

Spare a Schand for the less fortunate?

 

MAN

(Jumps between ROBIN and SAMANTHA)

Take off, Pops.

 

ROBIN

Would you turn away a blind man?

 

MAN

(Looking at ROBIN and then SAMANTHA)

Blind man, huh? No. I guess not.

(Quietly taking out a gun, he goes by the door)

Come this way and I'll give you something for your troubles.

 

ROBIN

(Passing MAN)

That's kind of you, Sonny.

(Stepping L of MAN)

But wouldn't you rather take me this way?

(ROBIN swings cane in the desired direction and

knocks the MAN against the wall. He gives the MAN

another whack to be sure. ROBIN picks up the gun,

goes to SAMANTHA, and unties her. They hug.

Sirens sound)

It's okay now, everything will be just fine.

 

(KNOT and MOTHER CARMEN rush in)

 

CARMEN

Samantha!

(Rushes to take her in her arms)

 

ROBIN

(Handing gun to KNOT)

He's all yours, Sheriff.

(KNOT scowls at ROBIN. ROBIN smiles)

He's all yours.

(KNOT handcuffs the MAN and searches him)

 

CARMEN

(Going to ROBIN with SAMANTHA)

Thank you, Robin.

 

ROBIN

Anytime.

(CARMEN and SAMANTHA exit L. ROBIN starts to go

but KNOT puts a hand on his shoulder)

Oh, Sheriff. Thank you ever so much for responding so quickly to my call and taking away this awful, ruthless person who dared to stoop down so low in the muck as to kidnap a helpless orphan. Thank you.

(ROBIN shakes KNOT'S hand kindly ad exits L. KNOT

watches ROBIN go, speechless, as the Lights fade

to black)

 

ACT I

 

Scene 18

 

(Lights come up C on CARMEN. ROBIN rushes in

frantically from R)

 

ROBIN

What is it, Mother Carmen? What's the emergency?

 

CARMEN

I have a surprise for you.

 

ROBIN

You made me rush all the way over here for s surprise.

 

CARMEN

This surprise won't be here for much longer.

 

ROBIN

Huh?

 

CARMEN

(Calling to off L)

Princess Marian, will you come here for a moment?

 

ROBIN

(Nervous)

Princess Marian? But...I...

 

MARIAN

(Coming on from L)

Yes, Mother Carmen?

 

CARMEN

(To MARIAN)

I would like to introduce you to an admirer of yours.

 

ROBIN

(Embarrassed)

Mother Carmen...

 

MARIAN

(Now slightly embarrassed)

Hello.

(ROBIN kisses her hand. She recognizes him)

Didn't we...

(Chuckling)

Didn't you...

 

ROBIN

(Even more embarrassed)

Yes.

 

CARMEN

I'll leave you two alone.

(CARMEN exits L)

 

(They smile at each other for a moment)

 

ROBIN

(Trying to think of something to say)

So...how do you like being a princess?

(MARIAN chuckles)

Sorry. Just trying to make conversation.

 

MARIAN

That's okay. How do you like doing...whatever you do?

 

ROBIN

I'm retired.

 

MARIAN

Aren't you a little young to be retired?

 

ROBIN

(Offering his arm)

How would you like to have dinner with a young retired man who isn't the prince of anything?

 

MARIAN

(Taking his arm)

I'd love to.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

END OF ACT I

ACT II

 

Scene 1

 

(Lights come up, DR, on ROBIN and JOHN)

 

ROBIN

John, I've been thinking.

 

JOHN

(Sarcastically)

Wow. Don't strain yourself.

 

ROBIN

(Ignoring his comment)

Do you think Princess Marian would go for a guy like me?

 

JOHN

Face it. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't. She's a princess and you're not a prince. There are no if's, and's or but's about it.

 

ROBIN

You never know, something might come up where she could marry me.

 

JOHN

And give up her right to the throne? Never.

 

ROBIN

A guy can dream, can't he?

 

JOHN

I'm afraid that's all you can do, my friend.

 

R0BIN

Now I'm depressed.

 

JOHN

It will do you some good. Builds character.

 

ROBIN

Depression is not a characteristic I'm very fond of.

 

JOHN

It's not one of my favorites either. But it helps us to be realistic and keeps us out of a dream world that's easy to get caught in.

 

ROBIN

What's wrong with having dreams and having some fun?

 

JOHN

Nothing. Except by having too much fun, a person could neglect something very important and not realize what is happening until it is too late.

 

ROBIN

Okay, okay. You win.

 

JOHN

I just want you to keep two feet on the ground and stay out of trouble.

 

ROBIN

Whatever you say.

(Pause)

John?

 

JOHN

Yah?

 

ROBIN

Are you sure there's no future for Marian and I?

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 2

 

(Lights come up, LC, on MARIAN and the QUEEN.

They are having tea)

 

QUEEN

Marian, dear?

 

MARIAN

Yes, mother?

 

QUEEN

What do you think of Prince John?

 

MARIAN

Haven't we had this conversation before?

 

QUEEN

Yes, but you have never really answered me.

 

MARIAN

I think he's a weenie, mom.

 

QUEEN

(Shocked)

Marian.

 

MARIAN

I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him.

(They are silent a moment)

 

QUEEN

I heard you spent the day with a common man.

 

MARIAN

(Getting angry)

Why must you know my every move? Don't I have any privacy?

 

QUEEN

Not if you wish to be Queen.

 

MARIAN

I'm starting to have second thoughts about that too.

 

QUEEN

(Shocked once again)

Marian, I'm surprised at you.

(MARIAN is silent)

This is what happens when you mix with common folk. I forbid you to see this man you have met and any others you have become acquainted with.

 

MARIAN

(Upset)

You can't do this.

 

QUEEN

I can and I will. Now, about Prince John...

 

PRINCE

(Enters from L)

You called, your Highness?

 

QUEEN

Prince John, how nice of you to drop by.

 

PRINCE

The pleasure is all mine.

(He kisses the QUEEN'S hand)

Hello, Princess Marian. You look quite lovely today.

(He tries to kiss her hand but she pulls away and

faces the other way)

Forgive me if I have offended you.

 

QUEEN

No, no. It's all right.

(Aside to him)

She's just in one of those moods.

 

PRINCE

(Nodding)

Oh, yes. I understand completely.

 

QUEEN

What brings you here, good prince?

 

PRINCE

I have come to tell you that I have taken the initiative to appoint a new sheriff.

 

QUEEN

You appointed a new sheriff?

 

PRINCE

I'm afraid Sheriff Knot hasn't been able to keep up with the most recent rash of crimes.

 

QUEEN

You mean the robberies upon my country's royalty?

 

PRINCE

Yes. And this new sheriff already has a lead on the case.

 

QUEEN

Wonderful! What has he found?

 

PRINCE

He thinks he knows the identity of the robber. His suspect calls himself "Robin".

(MARIAN'S attention is caught)

Your daughter's gentleman friend, I believe.

 

MARIAN

That's not true.

 

PRINCE

The new sheriff has a good reason to believe it is.

 

QUEEN

I knew there was something evil about that man.

(To MARIAN)

You're lucky I found out about it now. Think what might have happened.

 

MARIAN

This isn't right. Your new sheriff must be mistaken.

 

PRINCE

I'm afraid not, my dear. You should choose your common folk a bit more carefully.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 3

 

(Lights come up, RC, on the new sheriff, THOMPSON.

He is sitting at a table in a pub, drinking)

 

THOMPSON

(Drunk and yelling)

Drinks are on me, folks! There's a new sheriff in town, so let's celebrate!

 

ROBIN

(Coming on from R with a bottle of wine)

So you're the new sheriff, huh?

 

THOMPSON

That's right. Thompson's the name.

 

ROBIN

Nice to meet you.

 

THOMPSON

Sit down and share your bottle.

 

ROBIN

(Sits and sets the bottle next to him)

What happened to the old sheriff?

 

THOMPSON

He couldn't catch some troublesome little creep by the name of...

(Thinking a moment)

ah...Robin. Yah, that's it.

 

ROBIN

(Pouring more to drink for THOMPSON)

Really?

 

THOMPSON

That's right. Prince John gave me this Robin's complete description and I'm going to get him.

 

ROBIN

(Pours more wine every time THOMPSON drinks)

Good for you.

 

THOMPSON

Prince John said it would be as simple as pie to get him. He gave me a list of all his hang-outs. Seems to me he'll walk right into my hands.

(Whisper)

And I get a nice bonus to boot.

 

ROBIN

It sounds like you can't lose.

 

THOMPSON

(Laughs)

It looks that way, don't it?

(He is starting to fade from consciousness)

 

ROBIN

(Pours more)

Drink up. Sounds like you have some good days ahead of you.

 

THOMPSON

That's what Prince John tells me.

(ROBIN pours more. THOMPSON raises glass)

Here's to Prince John.

(Drinks)

 

ROBIN

To Prince John.

(ROBIN slaps him on the back. THOMPSON does a

nose-dive onto the table)

There's nothing worse than a sheriff that can't handle a few drinks.

(Taking THOMPSON'S money belt)

I don't think he'll mind me borrowing a few Schands.

(Also takes his keys. To THOMPSON)

Remember: Never drink and drive.

(ROBIN exits R as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 4

 

(Lights come up DL on KNOT unpacking a box in his

office. GINA enters from R)

 

GINA

(Forcing a smile)

Welcome back, Sheriff Knot.

 

KNOT

(Still unpacking)

Thank you, Gina.

 

GINA

(Puzzled at a kind response)

What was that, sir?

 

KNOT

(Looking up)

I said thank you.

 

GINA

(Smiles kindly)

I'll be at my desk if you need me, sir.

 

KNOT

Thank you.

(She stops and shakes her head, looks at him, and

then leaves. KNOT sits and smiles)

It's nice to be back.

(Slight pause. A puzzled look grows on his face)

And I have Robin to thank for it.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 5

 

(Lights come up, LC, on an angry MARIAN standing

alone. PRINCE JOHN enters from L)

 

PRINCE

(Very pleasant)

Hello, Marian. How nice of you to see me.

 

MARIAN

I'm afraid I had no choice in the matter.

 

PRINCE

Don't be that way. Your mother is doing what's best for you.

 

MARIAN

She has no idea of what's best for me.

 

PRINCE

(Dropping the act)

That's it, Princess. No more Mr. Nice Guy. You've pushed me too far.

 

MARIAN

What are you going to do about it?

 

PRINCE

The question should be what have I done about it.

 

MARIAN

What are you babbling about?

 

PRINCE

I took the liberty of having my personal guards deliver your precious Robin to the reinstated Sheriff Knot.

 

MARIAN

You what?

 

PRINCE

You've lost, Marian.

 

MARIAN

(Advancing on him)

You little twerp.

 

PRINCE

I could easily make it a lot worse for him.

 

MARIAN

(Stopping)

And what do you want from me?

 

PRINCE

(Approaching her)

Just your never-ending devotion and your throne.

 

MARIAN

(Turning)

Never.

 

PRINCE

(Starting to exit)

Ah. I love a good execution.

 

MARIAN

Wait.

 

PRINCE

(Stopping)

Yes, my love?

 

MARIAN

Please, don't hurt him.

(PRINCE smiles and exits L)

No! Stop!

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 6

 

(Lights come up, DL, on KNOT escorting ROBIN into

a pantomimed cell)

 

KNOT

Welcome, Robin, Welcome! It's so nice of you to drop in.

(KNOT locks the cell)

 

ROBIN

No, no. The pleasure is all mine.

 

KNOT

(Pulling a chair up to the cell)

How do you like my little place?

 

ROBIN

Simple, yet overpowering. I must get your decorator's number.

 

KNOT

No need. You can stay here as long as you like.

 

ROBIN

Really and for true? Gee, I don't know what to say.

 

KNOT

Don't mention it.

 

ROBIN

I won't.

(Pause, ROBIN sits)

So what's for dinner?

 

KNOT

Oh, darn. You know what?

 

ROBIN

What?

 

KNOT

You just missed dinner. I'm really sorry.

 

ROBIN

That's okay. I wasn't that hungry anyway.

(Pause)

 

KNOT

(Smiles)

I finally got you. After all this time, I got you.

 

ROBIN

No you didn't.

 

KNOT

What?

 

ROBIN

You didn't get me. I came here by choice.

 

KNOT

We caught you. Fair and square.

 

ROBIN

Nope, sorry.

 

KNOT

(Frustrated)

Why am I even arguing with you?

 

ROBIN

You're not, really.

 

KNOT

Shut up.

(Pause)

 

ROBIN

What do you do in here all the time anyway?

 

KNOT

None of your business.

 

ROBIN

Sorry. Just trying to make conversation.

 

KNOT

Well, don't.

(Pause)

 

ROBIN

You look a little down. What's wrong?

 

KNOT

Huh?

 

ROBIN

You look sad. Want to talk about it?

 

KNOT

Not really.

 

ROBIN

(Upset)

It's because I'm behind bars, isn't it?

 

KNOT

What?

 

ROBIN

(Sad)

You won't talk to me because I'm in here and you're out there. How's a guy supposed to reform with treatment like that?

(Almost crying)

 

KNOT

All right, all right. I'll tell you about it. Take it easy, okay?

 

ROBIN

(Perks up)

Okay.

 

KNOT

(Having trouble getting it out)

I...

 

ROBIN

Come closer so I can listen better.

 

KNOT

(He moves his chair over next to the cell)

How's that?

 

ROBIN

Good. Now tell me what's bothering you.

 

KNOT

I've never told anyone before.

 

ROBIN

I swear I won't tell a soul.

 

KNOT

It's something that happened when I was a kid.

 

ROBIN

(Fascinated)

Yah. I heard that's the most impressionable time in a person's life. What happens as a kid can influence how you turn out.

 

KNOT

Do you want to hear this or not?

 

ROBIN

Sorry. Go ahead.

 

KNOT

Okay.

 

ROBIN

Don't let me stop you.

 

KNOT

Thank you.

 

ROBIN

You're welcome.

 

KNOT

(Slight pause)

Are you sure you want to hear this?

 

ROBIN

Yes.

 

KNOT

Don't laugh, but I was always bitter towards my parents because they would never buy me a Snoopy lunch box.

 

ROBIN

A Snoopy lunch box?

 

KNOT

It wasn't just that. I never got anything that I wanted. I asked for a toy car and got a toy gun. I asked for a book and I got army men. The list goes on and on.

 

ROBIN

I didn't realize...

 

KNOT

No one ever does.

 

ROBIN

I'm sorry.

 

KNOT

It's not your fault.

 

ROBIN

Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

 

KNOT

No. It's late. Get some sleep.

 

ROBIN

All right. Good night, Sheriff.

 

KNOT

Good night, Robin.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 7

 

(Lights come up dimly, DL, on KNOT asleep and

snoring. ROBIN creeps to the far edge of the cell

and takes a key from his pocket)

 

ROBIN

(Stage whisper)

I knew Sheriff Thompson's keys would come in handy.

(Unlocks and opens cell door. ROBIN starts to

exit R but stops and looks back, smiles. Stage

whisper)

A Snoopy lunch box.

 

(Lights fade as ROBIN exits L)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 8

 

(Lights come up, LC, on a frightened MARIAN)

 

ROBIN

(Off L)

Psst! Marian!

 

MARIAN

(Looks off L)

Robin!

(Rushes off L)

 

ROBIN

(Off)

Help me in the window.

 

MARIAN

(Both coming on)

I thought you...

 

ROBIN

I escaped.

 

MARIAN

You did? How?

 

ROBIN

Ancient Chinese secret.

 

MARIAN

(Hugging him)

I'm so glad you're safe.

 

ROBIN

(Embarrassed at hug)

Me too.

 

MARIAN

You can't stay. If they find you here...

 

ROBIN

(Dramatically)

Yes, I must leave you. But first, a kiss.

(He kisses her hand)

Now, I must go, my love.

(He starts to go)

 

MARIAN

(She stops him)

Watch out for Prince John. He's obsessed with getting rid of you.

 

ROBIN

Prince John?

 

MARIAN

He's more dangerous than he looks.

 

ROBIN

You be careful, too. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.

 

MARIAN

Go before you are discovered.

 

ROBIN

(Dramatic exit)

Farewell, Princess Marian.

 

MARIAN

(Sadly)

Farewell, Robin.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 9

 

(Lights come up, DL, on KNOT at his desk admiring

a Snoopy lunch box wrapped in ribbon and topped

with a bow. PRINCE JOHN enters from L)

 

PRINCE

(Coldly)

What's that?

 

KNOT

(Sticking his lunch box under his desk)

Nothing.

 

PRINCE

(Angry)

I can't believe you let Robin get away!

 

KNOT

He used Thompson's keys to get out.

 

PRINCE

I don't care how he got out! The fact is that he did get out!

 

KNOT

(Evenly)

Sorry.

 

PRINCE

I want that man put away! I've tried everything in my power and he's still loose!

 

KNOT

All my attempts, especially the orphanage, were total failures.

 

PRINCE

(Getting an idea)

The orphanage.

(Smiles evilly)

 

KNOT

What about it?

 

PRINCE

Why didn't I think of it before?

 

KNOT

What?

 

PRINCE

He works closely with the children there, right?

 

KNOT

Yes.

 

PRINCE

And he's very close to them.

 

KNOT

He was once an orphan himself.

 

PRINCE

Perfect!

 

KNOT

(Bored with suggestions)

What now?

 

PRINCE

Give me the address of the orphanage and you'll see soon enough.

 

(KNOT writes out the address as the lights fade to

black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 10

 

(Lights come up, LC, on MARIAN. PRINCE JOHN

enters from off L)

 

PRINCE

(Proud of himself, waving a piece of paper)

Marian. I have something to show you.

 

MARIAN

(Angrily)

Go away.

 

PRINCE

That's not the way to talk to someone who holds the lives of little orphans in his hands.

 

MARIAN

What are you talking about?

 

PRINCE

(Holding up paper)

This piece of paper says I am the sole owner of your friend Robin's orphanage. I just bought it this morning.

 

MARIAN

(Furious)

You what?!

 

PRINCE

Now, now, darling...

 

MARIAN

Don't call me darling!

 

PRINCE

You had better get used to it because we will be spending the rest of our lives together as man and wife.

(MARIAN begins to object)

If you refuse, I'll be forced to close the orphanage.

 

MARIAN

(Shocked)

You wouldn't.

 

PRINCE

I would.

 

MARIAN

I can't believe you would...

 

PRINCE

Their lives are now in your hands.

 

MARIAN

I...I don't know...

 

PRINCE

I'll make a deal with you. If you marry me, I'll even turn the ownership of the orphanage over to Robin.

(Slight pause)

That's my final offer.

(MARIAN is silent a moment and is almost in tears)

 

MARIAN

(Shaken)

All right. I'll do it.

 

PRINCE

(Pushing it)

Do what?

 

MARIAN

I'll marry you.

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 11

 

(Lights come up, RC, on MOTHER CARMEN pacing

nervously. ROBIN enters from off R)

 

ROBIN

What's wrong, Mother Carmen?

 

CARMEN

(Very upset)

Robin. It's horrible.

 

ROBIN

(Trying to calm her)

What is?

 

CARMEN

The orphanage was forcibly bought by Prince John.

 

ROBIN

(Shocked)

What?

 

CARMEN

(Crying)

The first thing he did was cut off all our funds. The children will starve.

 

ROBIN

(Furiously)

That impish little freak!

 

CARMEN

What are we going to do?

 

ROBIN

I'll take care of the money myself...

 

CARMEN

He controls all our money now. We're helpless.

 

ROBIN

That's it! He's pushed me too far! No more kidding around!

(Bellowing)

You better watch out Prince John, because Robin's coming to town!

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 12

 

(Lights come up, LC, on MARIAN. ROBIN comes in

from R)

 

ROBIN

(In a bad mood)

Marian.

 

MARIAN

How did you get in here this time?

 

ROBIN

Through the bathroom window.

 

MARIAN

Robin, you shouldn't be here. Prince John will be back soon.

 

ROBIN

Good, he's just the man I want to see.

 

MARIAN

No, you can't.

 

ROBIN

I have to do something or he'll destroy the orphanage.

 

MARIAN

(Sadly)

No, he won't.

 

ROBIN

What's stopping him?

 

MARIAN

I've agreed to marry him...

 

ROBIN

No way!

 

MARIAN

Listen! In return he'll turn the ownership of the orphanage over to you.

(ROBIN is stunned by this. Pause)

I had no choice.

 

ROBIN

That's blackmail. He can't do that...

 

MARIAN

But he did. Please, agree to his terms.

 

ROBIN

I can't...

 

MARIAN

Think of the children...

 

ROBIN

But, Marian...

 

MARIAN

Robin, you mustn't interfere.

 

ROBIN

I won't stand by and let this happen to you. I'm going to put a stop to this Prince John once and for all.

 

PRINCE

(Enters from L with KNOT)

Ah, Robin. We finally meet.

 

ROBIN

(Moving as if to attack him)

You little reject!

(KNOT pulls a gun and ROBIN stops dead in his

tracks)

 

PRINCE

What's the matter Robin? Scared?

 

ROBIN

Personally, I don't like being shot. It's not my favorite way to spend an evening.

 

PRINCE

You're trespassing, my good sir. The penalty is immediate death by a firing squad.

 

MARIAN

You wouldn't...

 

PRINCE

Ah, my darling, but I would.

 

MARIAN

You promised that if I married you...

 

PRINCE

I lied.

(Casual pause)

Since there is only one armed man present, he'll have to stand in for the rest of the squad.

 

KNOT

What?

 

PRINCE

What are you, some kind of idiot?! Shoot him!

 

KNOT

You want me to shoot Robin?

 

PRINCE

I command it!

(KNOT slowly raises gun and points it at ROBIN)

Shoot him!

 

KNOT

(Lowers gun)

I can't. It's wrong.

 

PRINCE

(Taking gun from KNOT)

Give it here! I'll do it myself.

(He tries to aim it at ROBIN but ROBIN wrestles it

from his hands. PRINCE JOHN falls, whimpering, on

the floor. ROBIN, with the gun, and KNOT stand

silently over PRINCE JOHN, staring at each other.

ROBIN hands the gun to KNOT. Pause. KNOT turns

and leaves without a word)

 

MARIAN

Robin.

 

ROBIN

(Turning to her)

Yah?

 

MARIAN

Will you leave Prince John and I alone for a moment?

 

ROBIN

Are you sure it's okay?

 

MARIAN

Yes.

 

ROBIN

I'll be right outside if you need me.

(ROBIN exits L. MARIAN looks coldly down upon

PRINCE JOHN)

 

PRINCE

(Getting on his knees before her)

Marian, darling. Please, forgive me. I'll reform.. I'll never do anything like this again. Please, give me a second chance.

 

MARIAN

(Angrily)

Get up on your feet.

 

PRINCE

(He does)

Yes, anything, my darling.

 

MARIAN

(Poking him in the chest)

You're finished, Prince John. You've finally gone too far.

 

PRINCE

Be merciful.

(Taking orphanage deed from pocket)

I'll even sign over the orphanage to Robin.

(He does so)

Here.

(He gives it to her)

 

MARIAN

(Pleasantly)

Thank you. Now I have something for you.

 

PRINCE

(Half smile)

You do?

(MARIAN slugs him in the stomach and he tumbles to

the floor)

 

MARIAN

Good-bye, darling.

 

(MARIAN exits L as the lights fade to black)

 

ACT II

 

Scene 13

 

(Lights come up, DC, on ROBIN and MARIAN sitting

on a blanket having a picnic)

 

MARIAN

This was a good idea. I've never been to a picnic before. And I've never been to this park, either.

 

ROBIN

I'm glad you like them both.

 

MARIAN

(Looking around)

I really do.

 

ROBIN

Thank you for the orphanage. I turned the ownership over to Mother Carmen.

 

MARIAN

I'm glad that's over.

 

ROBIN

Amen to that.

 

MARIAN

I sure love those kids at the orphanage.

 

ROBIN

Me, too. I'll do anything for them. There's no greater joy than giving to an orphan. Their smiles are all the reward I need.

 

MARIAN

You've done so much for them. I wish I could help.

 

ROBIN

You can. Everyone can. If each person in this world could give a little bit of time or a little bit of money, that's all the help they could ever ask for.

 

MARIAN

I'll do my best.

 

ROBIN

That's a lot more than most people do. If people would start giving a little rather than being so selfish about everything, the kids and others like them would be much better off.

 

MARIAN

People just don't seem to care.

 

ROBIN

No, they don't. They think they can't make a difference. That's very wrong.

 

MARIAN

It's also a good excuse to keep from doing anything.

 

ROBIN

(Sarcastically)

We wouldn't want to strain ourselves, now would we?

 

MARIAN

Thank you, Robin.

 

ROBIN

For what?

 

MARIAN

For caring.

 

 

(Lights fade to black)

 

 

END OF PLAY