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Blinded by
the Knight
by D. M. Larson
Buy a low cost PDF of the script on Sellfy.com
From the published play "Between Good and Evil" by D. M. Larson available on Amazon.com
Copyright (c) 2013
Blinded by
the Knight by D. M. Larson from freedrama.net
It is evening at a comic book store. There are several
posters and novelties decorating the store. Center is a large cabinet
with signs stating types of comics. The comics are facing away from the
audience. A Ninja enters quietly and looks around. She sneaks over to the
book shelf and hides behind it (the audience can see her still). Joe
walks upstage of the book case. She grabs a comic over the shelf with
snakelike speed. Joe stops and looks around but doesn't see anything and
shrugs. She sneaks away right behind him but he doesn't notice her.
Lights dim except for a spotlight and a large man in a pink
suit walks in to the spotlight.
GODFATHER
Good evening. I'm your fairy godfather. I bet you
didn't know we were still in operation in the 21st century... we got fairies
all over... just the other day my fairy godcousin Vinny got some kid their wish
upon a star wish and now that kid is proud owner of one of them video game
devices. We're that good. But you have to understand we're on a
budget now... the darn economy. Sure, I'd like to help all them poor
little boys and girls get what they want, but hey... a fairy's gotta make a
living too. But you know, we always was focused on royalty... princes or
princesses... We'd fix you up with a royal something or another... and then
when you got your happily ever after, there was the bill... them stories never
tell you about the bill. Anywho...
Another spotlight comes up on Howard reading a comic
book.
Godfather (cont.)
There's this kid... he's a good kid... but he's so shy...
can't talk to the girls.
Ashley walks by Howard who gets all nervous and hides his
face behind the comic book.
Godfather (Cont.)
Then there's this princess... well, she was always told she
was a princess... and she got whatever she wanted. She loves pretty
things...
Ninja appears with something shiney like jewelry and dangles
it by Ashley.
Ashley
Ooh! Shiney!
Ashley whips out her credit card and grabs the jewel.
Ninja takes the card and goes. Howard peeks over the comic at Ashley.
GODFATHER
Well, these two need to learn a lesson and that's what us
fairies are best at... giving you a whole new outlook on life.
Godfather exits. Lights come up. Joe goes over to
Ashley.
Joe
You like kryptonite jewelry huh?
Ashley
As long as it is big and flashy, I like it lots.
Where's the little princess's room?
JOE
Back down the hall. Look for the Supergirl poster.
Ashley
How come it is super-girl
and then super-man?
Isn't that sexist?
Joe
Uh... sure.
Ashley
Well, stop doing that.
Joe
Yeah... I'll call my friends at DC comics right now and get
them to change that.
Ashley
Good. See, that's why I won the title Miss Politically
Correct last year.
JOE
How many people were in that contest?
Ashley
Doesn't matter. The important thing is that the right
person won.
Ashley exits. Howard rushes over to Joe and lowers his
comic.
Howard
Is that who I think it is?
Joe
Yup, that's Ashley Anderson, beauty queen. Miss Teen
Walla Walla, Miss Pet Lover, Miss Apple Pie... She's been the Miss of
everything I think.
HOWARD
What is she doing here?
JOE
She's here to do a photo shoot. She's endorsing the store and
then we're endorsing her. See, they think she is a sure thing to win Miss
Washington this year and if she can win Miss America, then this sponsorship
will be gold. My online sales with skyrocket. And she gets someone to pay
some of the bills.
Howard
But how?
Joe
She's my cousin.
Howard
You never told me that!
Joe
It's a family secret. I'm rather embarrassed by her,
but it might finally be useful to know her.
Howard
I've always wanted to talk to her.
Joe
You want to talk to any woman.
Ashley comes out and Howard lifts his comic and goes to hide.
Joe goes to the front door and locks it.
Joe (cont.)
I better lock the door before the nerds start swarming.
Ashley
Ew... there's one now. He's drooling on the window.
Joe hands her some money.
JOE
Here's your money. Be nice.
Ashley smiles and waves and blows a kiss.
JOE (CONT.)
I think you just killed that one.
Ashley
Ready for the photo?
Joe is looking around for the camera.
JOE
In a hurry? Big plans tonight?
ASHLEY
My big plans are to be some where else.
Ninja puts camera near Joe unnoticed. Joe finds it.
JOE
I want you holding a wearing this sash and holding this comic
book.
Joe gives sash to Ashley.
Ashley
Miss All Knight?
JOE
It's the name of the store "All Knight Novelty."
Ashley
It sounds weird though.
JOE
And here is the comic.
Ashley
Ew! I don't wanna hold that. It's gross.
JOE
But she's where the store gets the name from... Knight
Princess... she's a warrior princess. I thought you liked princesses.
Ashley
But look at her outfit. And what's she doing to that
monster.
JOE
I believe she is ripping that zombie a new one.
Ashley
Ew!
JOE
I'll look for one with a better cover.
Ninja sets out a comic and sprinkles something inside the bag
holding the comic. Joe finds it.
JOE (CONT.)
Here we go. She is all dressed up for her coronation.
Joe sets up camera on tripod. Ashley looks at comic.
Ashley
How can she fight in those clothes? Guy always have
tons of armor but the warrior women wear practically nothing to protect their
bodies.
JOE
Good point. I'll shoot off another email to my friends
at DC comics.
Ashley
Ready?
JOE
Take the comic out of the bag. The plastic is making a weird
reflection. I'll be right back with another prop. We need something
else to make the picture pop.
Joe exits. Ashley opens bag and ninja sneaks up and
smashes the end of it so the power goes up in to Ashley's face. She
coughs violently as if she is going to die. Joe runs back in and Howard
cautiously approaches from his hiding spot.
JOE
What's going on?
Howard
I don't know.
Ashley
Something.. in the comic... my eyes!
JOE
What's wrong with your eyes?
Ashley
I can't see... it got in my eyes... I need help.
JOE
Wash it out with water.
Howard
I'll get some.
Howard looks around.
Ashley
It hurts so bad.
JOE
Hang on... we'll wash it out.
Howard finds some bottled water.
Howard
Here.
Joe splashes water on Ashley's face.
Ashley
Hey! Idiot!
JOE
That didn't help?
ASHLEY
No! It still burns and I can't see.
JOE
I'll call 911.
ASHLEY
No, no, no. The press would be all over it. Get
the family doctor. He'll come if you get daddy to call him.
JOE
Fine. I'll call.
Ashley
Don't leave me alone.
JOE
Howard is here.
Ashley
Howard?
JOE
Howard Rogers. You know him from school.
Ashley
No.
JOE
Whatever... he's here... say hi Howard.
Howard
Hi.
Ashley
Thanks for being here to help, Howard.
Joe gets out his cell phone and goes upstage to call.
Ashley (Cont.)
You're not that creepy guy outside that drooled on the window
and fainted?
Howard
No.
ASHLEY
Oh, good. So how come I don't remember you from
school?
Howard
I... I don't know.
ASHLEY
You're shy. That's why. I think that's so cute.
Howard
Oh...
ASHLEY
Take my hand please and lead me to a chair.
Howard
Sure.
Howard looks very happy to be holding her hand. He
walks her to a chair (a spot with two chairs and a table).
JOE
Your dad wants me to go pick up the doctor so he gets here
quicker... you okay?
ASHLEY
Howard will take good care of me.
Joe gives Howard a thumbs up. Howard smiles.
ASHLEY (CONT.)
Thanks so much for helping me, Howard. I must look
terrible.
Howard
No, you look... good.
ASHLEY
You're so sweet. Could you get my purse for me? I
might have eye drops in there. That could help.
Ninja grabs her purse.
Howard
Do you remember where you left it?
ASHLEY
No.. silly me.. but I'm sure a smart guy like you can find it.
Howard
Okay...
Howard searches around for purse as Ashley talks.
During the following, the ninja replaces eye drops with something different
that is the same shape but has scary symbol (skull or Mr. Yuck sticker).
ASHLEY
It's nice having a guy around who is so helpful. I
could get used to having someone around who does things for me like this.
I don't mean like a servant but as my special little helper. Especially
if I'm blind now... you think I'll be blind forever? I wonder if they
have Miss Blind USA? Or maybe I'd be a shoe-in for Miss America if I'm
blind. So this could be a blessing in disguise. You could be up
there on stage with me guiding me around... I wonder if that's against the
rules... I could get a cute little guide dog. People love animals
too. A blind girl with a dog. I'd win for sure. Still haven't
found my purse? I wonder where it went to.
Ninja has new eye drops in purse. She avoids Howard and
sneaks over to put it next to Ashley.
ASHLEY (CONT.)
I hope Joe didn't take it. I have no clue why he would
be you never know. You're such a good listener. I like that.
Most the guys I hang out with just want to talk about themselves. They
love talking about their bodies and their muscles and how they work out all the
time or how they won the big game doing a touch basket or a win down or some
such stupidity. Don't you hate it when someone always talks about
themselves non-stop?
Ninja wants to kill Ashley by strangling her but Howard turns
to return and ninja hides. Howard sees the purse. He goes up and
gets it.
Howard
I found it.
ASHLEY
Great! I knew you could do it. Now find my eye
drops.
Howard pulls weird silly things from her purse like bows,
ribbons, makeup, little stuffed animals until he finds them.
Howard
This kind of looks like eye drops but...
Ashley reaches out and Howard gives it to her.
ASHLEY
That feels right.
Howard
You sure? It has...
ASHLEY
Of course I'm sure silly. Now let's see if this helps
my eyes.
Ninja watches. Ashley puts in the drops. Pause.
Ashley screams. Ninja does a victory dance as Ashley jumps up and
stumbles around in pain.
Howard
What happened?
ASHLEY
It burns! My eyes are on fire!
Ashley screams some more. Ninja hides being center
bookcase. Howard tries to grab her and calm her down but she keeps punching him
and knocking him down. They stumble in to center bookcase where ninja is
and it falls on her. Joe and Doctor appear.
JOE
What happened?!
Howard
She put... she wanted...
ASHLEY
The pain!
JOE
Your doctor is here, Ashley.
Ashley stops. She sniffles and cries a bit still.
ASHLEY
Oh... good... help me, Doc.
DOC
Sit down, please, Miss Anderson. I have something to
clean out your eyes.
They help her sit. Doctor has some eye drops.
Ashley
Will it hurt?
DOC
Don't worry. Head back.
Doc puts in eye drops. After a few moments, she blinks.
ASHLEY
I can see!
JOE
Thankfully that's over.
DOC
Home James.
JOE
Joe.
DOc
Whatever.
Joe to Howard.
Joe
I bet he just made more in a minute than I make in a
month. You and Ashley good?
Howard
I think so.
JOE
Cool. I'll take my time then.
Doc and Joe leave. Ashley gathers up her stuff from her
purse.
Howard
Need any help?
ASHLEY
You helped so much, Howard. Oh...
Ashley sees Howard and is disappointed.
Howard
What's wrong?
ASHLEY
Well, uh... you're not quite like I imagined.
Howard
Oh... I see.
ASHLEY
You were very nice and helpful. It was good to have
your help.
Howard
Okay.
ASHLEY
I better go clean up. I bet I'm a mess.
Ashley goes back to bathroom. Howard is sad and sits.
Howard
I can't believe it. I'm finally brave enough to talk to
a girl but when she sees what I look like...
Ninja manages to pop her head out from under bookshelf.
Ninja
Blind dates rarely work out.
Howard jumps up.
Howard
Who said that?
Ninja
Over here. Under the bookshelf.
Howard
Are you okay?
Ninja
I think so... I may have hurt my ankle.
Howard
I'll get that off of you.
ninja
No hurry. I have plenty to read.
Howard manages to life bookshelf.
ninja (Cont.)
My knight in shining glasses. Come to rescue me.
I hate being a damsel in distress.
He helps ninja over to the chairs.
Howard
Let me see your leg.
ninja
Here.
She gives him her leg.
Howard
Where does it hurt?
ninja
Oh, that's over here.
She gives him her other leg.
Howard
We should wrap it in something.
ninja
You can use my mask.
Howard unwraps her mask. They pause a moment looking at
each other shyly.
howard
Mindy?
Ninja
Hi.
howard
You're a ninja.
ninja
Ninja by night. Nerd by day.
Howard wraps her ankle.
HOWARD
You're not that nerdy.
ninja
Not compared to you.
howard
Thanks.
NINJA
I'm kidding.
howard
I know I'm a nerd.
NINJA
But being a nerd is awesome.
howard
It is?
NINJA
Yeah... all the rich and powerful people in the world are
nerds. Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg. Nerds rule.
howard
And sports guy get all worn out and their bodies fall apart
when they get old.
NINJA
And the rich nerds marry supermodels.
howard
If they're like Ashley, then forget it.
NINJA
They're all like Ashley.
Howard
She thought I was fine until she saw what I looked like.
Ninja gets quiet.
NINJA
I think you look good.
HOWARD
What?
NINJA
Nothing.
HOWARD
You said something nice, didn't you?
NINJA
Maybe.
They are quiet a moment.
Howard
So how come you're dressed as a ninja?
NINJA
There are a few precious places in this world unspoiled by
people like Ashley and this store is one of those places. I couldn't bare
the thought of her ugly mug on a poster hanging in here next to these
heroes. The heroes on these walls fight for justice and the greater
good. To hang up some beauty pageant freak next to these symbols of
greatest is an insult to all I believe in.
Howard
Wow... well said.
NINJA
I like talking to you, Howard.
HOWARD
I like you too... I mean talking... I would like to talk.
Ninja laughs.
NINJA
Take it easy, Howard.
Howard
I'm an idiot.
NINJA
You're cute actually.
Howard
What? No...
NINJA
Take me out for coffee or something.
Howard
When?
NINJA
Now.
Howard
Okay.
NINJA
Let me get my coat.
Ninja runs to back of store. Howard does a happy
victory dance. Ninja returns and he stops. She laughs.
NINJA (CONT.)
Let's go.
As they go...
Howard
Is it okay if I get tea? Coffee gives me the runs.
Ninja laughs.
NINJA
Sure.
After a moment, there is a knocking in the back.
ASHLEY
Hello? Anyone out there? Something is blocking
the door and I can't get out. Anyone? Hello? Help!
GODFATHER
Well, Howard didn't get the princess but he did end up with
the future designer of the Waggit, a new gadget that everybody will want to
buy. No clue what it does but everyone will want it anyway. Romance
has bloomed. They'll get their happily ever after. The bill is in
the mail.
Godfather is about to leave.
ASHLEY
What about me?
GODFATHER
I nearly forgot. So did Ashley learn her lesson?
ASHLEY
I hear voices. Who's out there?
GODFATHER
It's hard to say right now, but she has a long night ahead of
her... maybe a light bulb moment will still happen to her. Until then,
she'll simply... be in the dark.
Godfather shuts off the lights.
ASHLEY
Oh, come on! You're kidding me right. Let me out
of here!
END OF PLAY
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(5-6 actors - 3-4 male 2 female)
**
GODFATHER - The Fairy Godfather and Narrator
**
JOE - comic book store owner
**
ASHLEY - teen beauty queen
**
HOWARD - a nerdy guy who likes comics and Ashley
**
NINJA - a teen girl (Mindy) who doesn't like Ashley
**
DOC - a doctor (can be played by Godfather)
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Copyright (c) 2013
Blinded by
the Knight by D. M. Larson from freedrama.net
It is evening at a comic book store. There are several
posters and novelties decorating the store. Center is a large cabinet
with signs stating types of comics. The comics are facing away from the
audience. A Ninja enters quietly and looks around. She sneaks over to the
book shelf and hides behind it (the audience can see her still). Joe
walks upstage of the book case. She grabs a comic over the shelf with
snakelike speed. Joe stops and looks around but doesn't see anything and
shrugs. She sneaks away right behind him but he doesn't notice her.
Lights dim except for a spotlight and a large man in a pink
suit walks in to the spotlight.
GODFATHER
Good evening. I'm your fairy godfather. I bet you
didn't know we were still in operation in the 21st century... we got fairies
all over... just the other day my fairy godcousin Vinny got some kid their wish
upon a star wish and now that kid is proud owner of one of them video game
devices. We're that good. But you have to understand we're on a
budget now... the darn economy. Sure, I'd like to help all them poor
little boys and girls get what they want, but hey... a fairy's gotta make a
living too. But you know, we always was focused on royalty... princes or
princesses... We'd fix you up with a royal something or another... and then
when you got your happily ever after, there was the bill... them stories never
tell you about the bill. Anywho...
Another spotlight comes up on Howard reading a comic
book.
Godfather (cont.)
There's this kid... he's a good kid... but he's so shy... can't talk to the girls.
Ashley walks by Howard who gets all nervous and hides his
face behind the comic book.
Godfather (Cont.)
Then there's this princess... well, she was always told she
was a princess... and she got whatever she wanted. She loves pretty
things...
Ninja appears with something shiney like jewelry and dangles
it by Ashley.
Ashley
Ooh! Shiney!
Ashley whips out her credit card and grabs the jewel.
Ninja takes the card and goes. Howard peeks over the comic at Ashley.
GODFATHER
Well, these two need to learn a lesson and that's what us
fairies are best at... giving you a whole new outlook on life.
Godfather exits. Lights come up. Joe goes over to
Ashley.
Joe
You like kryptonite jewelry huh?
Ashley
As long as it is big and flashy, I like it lots.
Where's the little princess's room?
JOE
Back down the hall. Look for the Supergirl poster.
Ashley
How come it is super-girl
and then super-man?
Isn't that sexist?
Joe
Uh... sure.
Ashley
Well, stop doing that.
Joe
Yeah... I'll call my friends at DC comics right now and get
them to change that.
Ashley
Good. See, that's why I won the title Miss Politically
Correct last year.
JOE
How many people were in that contest?
Ashley
Doesn't matter. The important thing is that the right
person won.
Ashley exits. Howard rushes over to Joe and lowers his
comic.
Howard
Is that who I think it is?
Joe
Yup, that's Ashley Anderson, beauty queen. Miss Teen
Walla Walla, Miss Pet Lover, Miss Apple Pie... She's been the Miss of
everything I think.
HOWARD
What is she doing here?
JOE
She's here to do a photo shoot. She's endorsing the store and
then we're endorsing her. See, they think she is a sure thing to win Miss
Washington this year and if she can win Miss America, then this sponsorship
will be gold. My online sales with skyrocket. And she gets someone to pay
some of the bills.
Howard
But how?
Joe
She's my cousin.
Howard
You never told me that!
Joe
It's a family secret. I'm rather embarrassed by her,
but it might finally be useful to know her.
Howard
I've always wanted to talk to her.
Joe
You want to talk to any woman.
Ashley comes out and Howard lifts his comic and goes to hide. Joe goes to the front door and locks it.
Joe (cont.)
I better lock the door before the nerds start swarming.
Ashley
Ew... there's one now. He's drooling on the window.
Joe hands her some money.
JOE
Here's your money. Be nice.
Ashley smiles and waves and blows a kiss.
JOE (CONT.)
I think you just killed that one.
Ashley
Ready for the photo?
Joe is looking around for the camera.
JOE
In a hurry? Big plans tonight?
ASHLEY
My big plans are to be some where else.
Ninja puts camera near Joe unnoticed. Joe finds it.
JOE
I want you holding a wearing this sash and holding this comic
book.
Joe gives sash to Ashley.
Ashley
Miss All Knight?
JOE
It's the name of the store "All Knight Novelty."
Ashley
It sounds weird though.
JOE
And here is the comic.
Ashley
Ew! I don't wanna hold that. It's gross.
JOE
But she's where the store gets the name from... Knight
Princess... she's a warrior princess. I thought you liked princesses.
Ashley
But look at her outfit. And what's she doing to that
monster.
JOE
I believe she is ripping that zombie a new one.
Ashley
Ew!
JOE
I'll look for one with a better cover.
Ninja sets out a comic and sprinkles something inside the bag
holding the comic. Joe finds it.
JOE (CONT.)
Here we go. She is all dressed up for her coronation.
Joe sets up camera on tripod. Ashley looks at comic.
Ashley
How can she fight in those clothes? Guy always have tons of armor but the warrior women wear practically nothing to protect their bodies.
JOE
Good point. I'll shoot off another email to my friends
at DC comics.
Ashley
Ready?
JOE
Take the comic out of the bag. The plastic is making a weird
reflection. I'll be right back with another prop. We need something
else to make the picture pop.
Joe exits. Ashley opens bag and ninja sneaks up and
smashes the end of it so the power goes up in to Ashley's face. She
coughs violently as if she is going to die. Joe runs back in and Howard
cautiously approaches from his hiding spot.
JOE
What's going on?
Howard
I don't know.
Ashley
Something.. in the comic... my eyes!
JOE
What's wrong with your eyes?
Ashley
I can't see... it got in my eyes... I need help.
JOE
Wash it out with water.
Howard
I'll get some.
Howard looks around.
Ashley
It hurts so bad.
JOE
Hang on... we'll wash it out.
Howard finds some bottled water.
Howard
Here.
Joe splashes water on Ashley's face.
Ashley
Hey! Idiot!
JOE
That didn't help?
ASHLEY
No! It still burns and I can't see.
JOE
I'll call 911.
ASHLEY
No, no, no. The press would be all over it. Get
the family doctor. He'll come if you get daddy to call him.
JOE
Fine. I'll call.
Ashley
Don't leave me alone.
JOE
Howard is here.
Ashley
Howard?
JOE
Howard Rogers. You know him from school.
Ashley
No.
JOE
Whatever... he's here... say hi Howard.
Howard
Hi.
Ashley
Thanks for being here to help, Howard.
Joe gets out his cell phone and goes upstage to call.
Ashley (Cont.)
You're not that creepy guy outside that drooled on the window
and fainted?
Howard
No.
ASHLEY
Oh, good. So how come I don't remember you from
school?
Howard
I... I don't know.
ASHLEY
You're shy. That's why. I think that's so cute.
Howard
Oh...
ASHLEY
Take my hand please and lead me to a chair.
Howard
Sure.
Howard looks very happy to be holding her hand. He walks her to a chair (a spot with two chairs and a table).
JOE
Your dad wants me to go pick up the doctor so he gets here
quicker... you okay?
ASHLEY
Howard will take good care of me.
Joe gives Howard a thumbs up. Howard smiles.
ASHLEY (CONT.)
Thanks so much for helping me, Howard. I must look
terrible.
Howard
No, you look... good.
ASHLEY
You're so sweet. Could you get my purse for me? I
might have eye drops in there. That could help.
Ninja grabs her purse.
Howard
Do you remember where you left it?
ASHLEY
No.. silly me.. but I'm sure a smart guy like you can find it.
Howard
Okay...
Howard searches around for purse as Ashley talks.
During the following, the ninja replaces eye drops with something different
that is the same shape but has scary symbol (skull or Mr. Yuck sticker).
ASHLEY
It's nice having a guy around who is so helpful. I
could get used to having someone around who does things for me like this.
I don't mean like a servant but as my special little helper. Especially
if I'm blind now... you think I'll be blind forever? I wonder if they
have Miss Blind USA? Or maybe I'd be a shoe-in for Miss America if I'm
blind. So this could be a blessing in disguise. You could be up
there on stage with me guiding me around... I wonder if that's against the
rules... I could get a cute little guide dog. People love animals
too. A blind girl with a dog. I'd win for sure. Still haven't
found my purse? I wonder where it went to.
Ninja has new eye drops in purse. She avoids Howard and
sneaks over to put it next to Ashley.
ASHLEY (CONT.)
I hope Joe didn't take it. I have no clue why he would
be you never know. You're such a good listener. I like that.
Most the guys I hang out with just want to talk about themselves. They
love talking about their bodies and their muscles and how they work out all the
time or how they won the big game doing a touch basket or a win down or some
such stupidity. Don't you hate it when someone always talks about
themselves non-stop?
Ninja wants to kill Ashley by strangling her but Howard turns
to return and ninja hides. Howard sees the purse. He goes up and
gets it.
Howard
I found it.
ASHLEY
Great! I knew you could do it. Now find my eye
drops.
Howard pulls weird silly things from her purse like bows,
ribbons, makeup, little stuffed animals until he finds them.
Howard
This kind of looks like eye drops but...
Ashley reaches out and Howard gives it to her.
ASHLEY
That feels right.
Howard
You sure? It has...
ASHLEY
Of course I'm sure silly. Now let's see if this helps
my eyes.
Ninja watches. Ashley puts in the drops. Pause.
Ashley screams. Ninja does a victory dance as Ashley jumps up and
stumbles around in pain.
Howard
What happened?
ASHLEY
It burns! My eyes are on fire!
Ashley screams some more. Ninja hides being center
bookcase. Howard tries to grab her and calm her down but she keeps punching him
and knocking him down. They stumble in to center bookcase where ninja is
and it falls on her. Joe and Doctor appear.
JOE
What happened?!
Howard
She put... she wanted...
ASHLEY
The pain!
JOE
Your doctor is here, Ashley.
Ashley stops. She sniffles and cries a bit still.
ASHLEY
Oh... good... help me, Doc.
DOC
Sit down, please, Miss Anderson. I have something to
clean out your eyes.
They help her sit. Doctor has some eye drops.
Ashley
Will it hurt?
DOC
Don't worry. Head back.
Doc puts in eye drops. After a few moments, she blinks.
ASHLEY
I can see!
JOE
Thankfully that's over.
DOC
Home James.
JOE
Joe.
DOc
Whatever.
Joe to Howard.
Joe
I bet he just made more in a minute than I make in a
month. You and Ashley good?
Howard
I think so.
JOE
Cool. I'll take my time then.
Doc and Joe leave. Ashley gathers up her stuff from her
purse.
Howard
Need any help?
ASHLEY
You helped so much, Howard. Oh...
Ashley sees Howard and is disappointed.
Howard
What's wrong?
ASHLEY
Well, uh... you're not quite like I imagined.
Howard
Oh... I see.
ASHLEY
You were very nice and helpful. It was good to have
your help.
Howard
Okay.
ASHLEY
I better go clean up. I bet I'm a mess.
Ashley goes back to bathroom. Howard is sad and sits.
Howard
I can't believe it. I'm finally brave enough to talk to
a girl but when she sees what I look like...
Ninja manages to pop her head out from under bookshelf.
Ninja
Blind dates rarely work out.
Howard jumps up.
Howard
Who said that?
Ninja
Over here. Under the bookshelf.
Howard
Are you okay?
Ninja
I think so... I may have hurt my ankle.
Howard
I'll get that off of you.
ninja
No hurry. I have plenty to read.
Howard manages to life bookshelf.
ninja (Cont.)
My knight in shining glasses. Come to rescue me.
I hate being a damsel in distress.
He helps ninja over to the chairs.
Howard
Let me see your leg.
ninja
Here.
She gives him her leg.
Howard
Where does it hurt?
ninja
Oh, that's over here.
She gives him her other leg.
Howard
We should wrap it in something.
ninja
You can use my mask.
Howard unwraps her mask. They pause a moment looking at
each other shyly.
howard
Mindy?
Ninja
Hi.
howard
You're a ninja.
ninja
Ninja by night. Nerd by day.
Howard wraps her ankle.
HOWARD
You're not that nerdy.
ninja
Not compared to you.
howard
Thanks.
NINJA
I'm kidding.
howard
I know I'm a nerd.
NINJA
But being a nerd is awesome.
howard
It is?
NINJA
Yeah... all the rich and powerful people in the world are
nerds. Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg. Nerds rule.
howard
And sports guy get all worn out and their bodies fall apart
when they get old.
NINJA
And the rich nerds marry supermodels.
howard
If they're like Ashley, then forget it.
NINJA
They're all like Ashley.
Howard
She thought I was fine until she saw what I looked like.
Ninja gets quiet.
NINJA
I think you look good.
HOWARD
What?
NINJA
Nothing.
HOWARD
You said something nice, didn't you?
NINJA
Maybe.
They are quiet a moment.
Howard
So how come you're dressed as a ninja?
NINJA
There are a few precious places in this world unspoiled by
people like Ashley and this store is one of those places. I couldn't bare
the thought of her ugly mug on a poster hanging in here next to these
heroes. The heroes on these walls fight for justice and the greater
good. To hang up some beauty pageant freak next to these symbols of
greatest is an insult to all I believe in.
Howard
Wow... well said.
NINJA
I like talking to you, Howard.
HOWARD
I like you too... I mean talking... I would like to talk.
Ninja laughs.
NINJA
Take it easy, Howard.
Howard
I'm an idiot.
NINJA
You're cute actually.
Howard
What? No...
NINJA
Take me out for coffee or something.
Howard
When?
NINJA
Now.
Howard
Okay.
NINJA
Let me get my coat.
Ninja runs to back of store. Howard does a happy
victory dance. Ninja returns and he stops. She laughs.
NINJA (CONT.)
Let's go.
As they go...
Howard
Is it okay if I get tea? Coffee gives me the runs.
Ninja laughs.
NINJA
Sure.
After a moment, there is a knocking in the back.
ASHLEY
Hello? Anyone out there? Something is blocking
the door and I can't get out. Anyone? Hello? Help!
GODFATHER
Well, Howard didn't get the princess but he did end up with
the future designer of the Waggit, a new gadget that everybody will want to
buy. No clue what it does but everyone will want it anyway. Romance
has bloomed. They'll get their happily ever after. The bill is in
the mail.
Godfather is about to leave.
ASHLEY
What about me?
GODFATHER
I nearly forgot. So did Ashley learn her lesson?
ASHLEY
I hear voices. Who's out there?
GODFATHER
It's hard to say right now, but she has a long night ahead of
her... maybe a light bulb moment will still happen to her. Until then,
she'll simply... be in the dark.
Godfather shuts off the lights.
ASHLEY
Oh, come on! You're kidding me right. Let me out
of here!
END OF PLAY
CAST OF CHARACTERS (5-6 actors - 3-4 male 2 female) ** GODFATHER - The Fairy Godfather and Narrator ** JOE - comic book store owner ** ASHLEY - teen beauty queen ** HOWARD - a nerdy guy who likes comics and Ashley ** NINJA - a teen girl (Mindy) who doesn't like Ashley ** DOC - a doctor (can be played by Godfather)
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