The Chile Pepper ChicksComedy Scene for 2 Actresses By D. M.
Larson
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Cast of Characters PEPPER: Lead guitar of the Chile Pepper Chicks who faints when nervous CHI-CHI: Lead singer of the Chile Pepper Chicks
SCENE 1
(Lights come up on a stage set up with various boxes, etc, a nice guitar and a backdrop for a Country Star Competition)
(PEPPER and CHI-CHI enter)
CHI-CHI I can’t believe you made us late again, Pepper.
PEPPER I’m sorry Chi-Chi. I had to get my rhinestones polished. (PEPPER gets out her guitar and sets it on a stand)
CHI-CHI You need to stop worrying about your appearance and think more about the music.
PEPPER My appearance is half of what makes us an attraction, Chi-chi.
CHI-CHI Your appearance? What about mine?
PEPPER Sorry, sis. But you kind of let yourself go.
CHI-CHI What?
PEPPER The only reason we keep you on is because of your singing.
CHI-CHI We? We who?
PEPPER We, me and the fans.
CHI-CHI The fans adore me.
PEPPER They adore me. They tolerate you.
CHI-CHI That’s it. After this I’m going solo.
PEPPER Good luck with that.
CHI-CHI I can do it. I can.
PEPPER You can’t even play an instrument. Or even write your own music. You’re lucky I can’t sing or I’d be going solo. Maybe I could just lipsinc. The lipsinc thing is big now.
CHI-CHI You’d never make it either. You’d be like a deer in a headlight.
PEPPER I wouldn’t. (Gets scared)
CHI-CHI You’re terrified of being on stage. The only reason you survive is because all eyes are on me… the singer. You’re nothing without me either.
PEPPER (Scared) Man this place is big.
CHI-CHI Oh, no. Don’t you…
PEPPER How many people are gonna be here, Chi-Chi? Are they gonna have people here for the audition? Looks like a lot of people could be here.
CHI-CHI Nobody’s here. Just us.
PEPPER (Starts breathing hard) I can’t do this, Chi-Chi. (Breathing really hard)
CHI-CHI Come on. You’ve played hundred of bars in front of hundreds of people.
PEPPER But not all at once.
CHI-CHI Calm down, Pepper. It’ll be okay.
PEPPER Can’t… breathe…
CHI-CHI Don’t do this, Pepper. You always do this when we get close… Please not now. This is our… (PEPPER passes out into crate so only her boot are showing) … big break. (Looks at her) Pepper? (Gets angry) Pepper! (Looks at watch) You know what? You want to go solo? Fine. You go solo. Have a nice audition. (Stomps off stage)
See Part 2 of the Scene at this LINK
Or read the entire play (warning - longer version is PG-13)
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