Bula looks through the paperwork on her desk at the school
newspaper office.
BULA
Now let's see. What do we have for next week's top story?
Looks like we're down to two: Where is the school nurse sneaking off to during
the day? Or who are the imaginary people the principal is always talking
to? Wow. Where do we ever get such good news? I'll bet no other school
paper can boast about these kind of headlines.
What else we got?
Let's see what Fanny brought me. Oh! This will do fine on the society
page. Romance is a budding at the school. This week Jimmy Joe Johnson's heart
is a palpitating for none other than Betty Sue Mall. Unfortunately he's feeling
a bit shy and can't figure out a way to tell Betty he's got those special
feelings for her. Don't you worry, though, Jimmy. She'll know all about it soon
enough. Best wishes to both of you in this new found romance.
Very nice. Now where's the school crime report? Here we go.
Crime wave hits the halls of our school. Hide your valuables. Monte the Hall
Monitor says we had a record number of incidents this week. He caught one group
of kids playing with firecrackers and trying to blow up the chemistry
lab. He wrote over ten tickets for excessive farting in the gym. And he
rescued some guy from a locker that his girlfriend had stuffed in him. He
must have done something pretty bad. Girl power gone wild. This
school is out of control.
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