Free Funny Monologues

Humorous Comedy Solo Scripts

Find over 50 monologues below or buy a low cost PDF of 50+ Funny Monologues

"Greenie (The Last Liberal)" - Comedy monologue for female (1-2 minutes) adapted from the play "Operation Redneck" ISBN-13: 978-1540824349

"The Big Bad Wolf" - Comedy monologue - Male or Female (1 minute) from "Holka Polka" ISBN-13: 978-1502445490

"Humpty Dumpty Private Egg Hard-Boiled Detective" Comedic Monologue - Male (2 minutes) from "Holka Polka" ISBN-13: 978-1502445490

"My William Shatner Man Crush" - Comedy Monologue for Male (2+ minutes) from "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"Catchick" - Short Comedy Monologue from the play "Superhero Support Group" - Female from the play "Superhero Support Group" ISBN-13: 978-1540471772

"Good Deeds and Such" - Comedy monologue - Female (2 minutes) from "Holka Polka" ISBN-13: 978-1502445490

"Hidden in the Night" - Adapted Short Monologue- Female (2-3 minutes) from a published play "Big Nose" ISBN-13: 978-1542471077

"Masked Man" - Comedic Monologue - Female - from "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"Death by Dollars" - Short Comedic Monologue for Male from "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"Melinda Street" - Comedic Monologue for Female from the play "Somebody Famous" ISBN-13: 978-1539753483

"A Thing for Nerds" monologue for female from the play "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"Steam Train" monologue for female from the play "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"New Love Found" - Comedy Monologue for Male from the play "Flowers in the Desert" ISBN-13: 978-1530169085

"Waiting on the Bride" Monologue - Male (2-3 minutes) from the play "Flowers in the Desert" ISBN-13: 978-1530169085

"The Spirit of Christmas Indigestion" - Monologue for Female from the play "Ebony Scrooge" ISBN-13: 978-1537655239

I saw it! A ghost! Upstairs! I did. It was floating around all spooky like. I think it touched me. I got all cold and shivery. I wanted to scream but when I opened my mouth all I could manage was a little squeak. I was frozen with fear. I thought it was gonna eat my brains or something. Oh, wait. That's zombies, ain't it? Well, it was gonna do whatever ghosts do to me. I could feel it doing something... something real creepy like. You wanna go see it? Or are you too scared? You ain't as brave as me.

(Looks down)

Hey! No, I did not! I spilled a drink on myself, okay? I am not a liar! You go up there and see for yourself. Up there is an honest to goodness, real scary, ghost. I may have lived to tell about it. Will you?!

END OF MONOLOGUE
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Please purchase a copy of the play "Losers in Love" by D. M. Larson from Amazon.com ISBN: 9781549653186 if you will be using the monologue in a competition or performance where admission is charged.

Or buy a low cost PDF of "Losers in Love" on Sellfy.com

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"THE PAPARAZZI FART" by D. M. Larson

from the play "Losers in Love" ISBN: 9781549653186
Copyright (c) 2017 All Rights Reserved

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Have you ever farted in front of a fan? I call it a paparazzi, because farting in front of a fan is like some terrible stalker that follows you and you can't escape.

The worst one I've ever done was my first. I had the ultimate silent but deadly gas bomb seep from me. I happened to be standing in front of a fan at the time. The results were glorious.

This ultimate gas passing experience was a mix of nerves and a bean burrito, one of those frozen burritos that are made from the cheapest mystery beans ever grown. I wanted to talk to my teacher about something personal and there was only a short time before the whole class would get back from gym. I snuck out early so I could talk to the teacher alone. It was a hot day in May and the teacher had a big fan pointed at the classroom to keep things cool. As I approached, I felt my stomach churn and deposit something painful into my bowels. I bent forward a bit and my teacher looked concerned. I started talking to hide the noise of the gas escaping out of me. At first I was thankful it was silent, but then I realized I was standing in front of the fan and the whole class walked in. The deadliest bottom sewage smell I ever produced oozed from me and filled the air. Students screamed and gasped. Chaos swarmed the room. I looked at the teacher who couldn't tell what was going on since he was on the other side of the fan. The class struggled into their desks with their noses pinched and mouths moaning.

I don't even remember what I wanted to talk to my teacher about, but I sure remember that fart. It was glorious.

END OF MONOLOGUE
***
Please purchase a copy of the play "Losers in Love" by D. M. Larson from Amazon.com ISBN: 9781549653186 if you will be using the monologue in a competition or performance where admission is charged.

Or buy a low cost PDF of "Losers in Love" on Sellfy.com

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